If Only You Knew (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter 34: Regret

A/N: sorry about the random dots in between each paragraph, the spacing was really messed up and that was the only way to fix it, its really annoying but whatever. enjoy my friends:)
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Tyler POV
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"Tyler I'm in love with you."
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Out of all of the sentences I expected to come out of his mouth I never thought he would say something like this. I just stared at him with a mixture of disbelief and shock. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to think. I tried to open my mouth but I was completely frozen, no words were coming to me. It was like my entire body just shut down.
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Then he did something I never thought he would ever do. He reached his hand up to the back of my neck and pulled our faces together. Our lips touched but I didn't pull away. I didn't try to stop him. I didn't want him to stop. It was amazing, our lips moved together and I slowly moved my hand up to his smooth skin. I felt a tingling in my fingertips and my entire body was filled with butterflies. I pulled away quickly and as I stared into his eyes I felt this feeling of wonder. I had never felt like this before.
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"I think I might love you too Marcus."
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"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words come out of your mouth."
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He pulled me closer to him again and our lips connected. It was different this time, it wasn't as magical. It didn't feel as real. I tried ignoring it but something about this didn't feel right at all and I don't know what it was. Then it hit me. How could I have forgotten about that. How could I have forgotten Troye.
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I quickly pulled away from Marcus, I couldn't do this to Troye.
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"Marcus, this isn't right."
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"Tyler don't you see? We were made for each other. It's you and me, it's always been us. I see the way you look at me. I know you love me too Tyler. Stop fighting it and just be happy."
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"Please just don't tell Troye about this."
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I couldn't have him find out about this, he couldn't know what just happened. I didn't kiss Marcus once, I kissed him twice. And I told him I loved him. This wasn't an innocent mistake or a lie I could pretend never happened, this was reality. I just cheated on Troye.
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"Don't worry, I won't tell him until you're ready."
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"I need to go." I got up and practically sprinted to the door. I was so overwhelmed. Do I really love Marcus? Or do I love Troye? So many questions ran through my mind and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. No matter what happened I was going to lose someone I cared about, I just don't know which one I would rather lose.
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I walked through the streets, trying to make some sense of what had just happened. I just replayed that scene in my mind over and over again. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about what just happened. I don't know what I'm going to do. Right now I have to choose between the love of my life and the boy of my dreams and I don't have much time. Troye or Marcus.
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I ran my hands through my hair trying to focus, but I just couldn't. All I kept thinking about is the look on Troye's face when he finds out what I've done. I stuck my hands into my back pocket as I paced back and forth and I felt something touch my fingertips. I slowly pulled it out of my pocket and I saw the note Troye left me.
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"Don't miss me too much xx"
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Obviously I didn't miss you at all because I totally forgot about you and cheated on you.
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"Two sugars and vanilla milk-Just how you like it"
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He knew every detail about me, from my favorite color to how I liked my coffee to my biggest fear. But I forgot about his entire existence.
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"-The best boyfriend ever"
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He was the best boyfriend ever, and unfortunately I was the worst. He deserved forever, not a boy looking for better but as long as he's still here I'm going to try to keep him near.
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I know what I need to do. I need to find Troye before he gets to Marcus. I need to make sure he never finds out about this, because if he does then what we have is ruined forever and I'm not ready to let this go.
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I called an Uber and had them drive me to the recording studio half an hour away. I felt my heart beat faster and faster every mile closer I got. My breathing was heavy and I couldn't think straight, my vision was going fuzzy but all I knew is that I had to get to Troye.
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We finally got there and I threw my money at the driver not caring that I gave him $20 extra. All I was focused on was getting to Troye. I ran into the building and ran up to the receptionist.
"Troye Sivan. Where is he. It's urgent."
"It says here that his meeting ended almost an hour ago. He might still be up in the studio. I can give them a call if you'd like."
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"Please could you?"
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"Of course. One moment please."
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Every second she spent on the phone my heart raced. I was pacing back and forth just hoping he was still here. My hands were shaking and I couldn't focus. I felt tears forming in my eyes and the pain in my chest had grown stronger.
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"I'm sorry sir, he left about 45 minutes ago. He said he wanted to leave quickly so he could get back to his boyfriend at home."
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I felt the tears start falling. Not only was he not here but he left so he could see me. He wanted to see his boyfriend back at home. He called my apartment his home. If only he knew that his boyfriend was too busy cheating on him to realize that he was gone.
That's when it hit me. Troye had left about 45 minutes ago. The ride to my apartment was 30 minutes.
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Troye was already at home. And he was at home with Marcus.
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Marcus POV
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Tyler ran out of the apartment and I felt a dagger go through my chest. Why didn't he love me? Why did he have to love Troye? Troye wasn't anything special. He was just an anti-social internet freak with nothing better to do then eat nutella and stalk One Direction on twitter. If Tyler wasn't going to love me then he's not going to love Troye either.
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Speak of the devil. Just as I was plotting on how to get Troye to hate Tyler he walked into the room holding some purple tulips. How romantic. It's too bad Tyler's not here to receive them.
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"Hey Troye." I spoke up, putting my usual perky attitude up. I hated Troye, but he couldn't know that. Not until Tyler and I were together and Troye was just another fling Tyler had.
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"Oh hey Marcus. Have you seen Tyler?" Wow he really was obsessed with him, I almost feel sorry for the kid. Here he is trying to be cute and romantic meanwhile while he was gone Tyler told another guy he loved him and kissed him twice. Really great relationship they had. I was doing Troye a favor by speeding up the break up. It was going to happen eventually, why not just save him the trouble of getting serious and just break them up right now.
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"Oh yeah, he ran out a little while ago. Sorry. Are those for him?" He and I both knew they were, let's see how he reacts when I keep asking him questions about his precious Tyler then finally tell him about the close encounter we had a few minutes ago.
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"No, I picked them up for Alfie. He said Zoe wanted some flowers so I got them for him to give to her." Wow he was a terrible liar, for a professional actor you would think he would be able to come up with a decent excuse.
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"That's really sweet of you Troye. You're a great friend. Speaking of friends, you and Tyler seem to be flirting a lot. Is Troyler finally real?" God I hated that word. Troyler. It sounded like a disease. I don't get why people shipped them, they aren't even a cute couple.
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"No, Ty and I are just really good friends that's all." He was still standing by the door awkwardly. Obviously being social isn't one of his strengths.
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"So then you wouldn't mind if Myler was real then?" His face suddenly dropped and his eyes widened in horror.
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"U-uhm no, you and Ty l-look reall-ly cut-te t-together." You could tell he was getting upset at just the thought of Tyler and I being together. Let's see what he thinks when he finds out Myler is real.
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"Okay good, I wouldn't want to intrude on your romance or anything. Don't tell anyone but Tyler kind of kissed me earlier today and he told me he loves me."
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"Wow. That's g-great. I-I'm just gonna g-go give these t-to A-Alfie n-now. B-bye." He ran out of the room and I could hear his sobs through the door.
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Just like Playlist Live all over again. He should have seen it coming, obviously Tyler was going to pick me over him. Pretty soon that little distraction would be back in Perth and everyone will have forgotten that Troye Sivan ever existed.
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hiiiii guyysss!
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so this is going to be really short since ive basically said everything i wanted to say in my A/N i posted before this chapter
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okay so this chapter was mad intense and the drama just goes up from here so prepare yourselves guys, and just letting you know im not as heartless as you think i am (interpret that as you wish)
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thank yall so much for reading and voting and commenting and being perfect as always<3
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i love you all so much have a lovely day or night and be sure to vote and comment if you liked it or if you want to stab me with the nearest sharp object
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adios amigos (lol @ how ive never taken a day of spanish in my entire life but i act like i know it)