Celebrating with family nowadays feels so uncomfortable and I hate it. I feel i'm always out of place, like this Christmas, all my guy cousins and my uncles were talking about the different kinds of cars and how to pick up ladies...and SIS I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT THE KINDS OF FRIGGING CARS...but I do know how to pick up ladies. I feel like I was always with the women laughing with them, I guess that's kind of a part of being bi? To me I don't think so.
People nowadays should be outgoing and open minded about the lgbt community and relate with them and learn about them because everyone single person in the lgbt community are different. There's no "one type or kind"...I guess my family are just still more traditional than other people.
Well...after that uncomfortable experience, my aunt offered me and my mom a ride back home cause we were close to their house anyways. That felt good til I went inside the car and felt like an outsider the whole time I was in the car. Everyone was talking to eachother and laughing and SISTER PAUL CAN'T RELATE. I was literally just in the backseat of the car speaking to myself while fidgeting my phone. I thought Christmas day was gonna be cool, but in the end I was just uncomfortable and embarrassed. Tbh this year's Christmas was the most boring and bland Christmas ever....I didn't feel the Christmas spirit at all, I guess because there was so much going on in my head that I just couldn't adjust to anything at the moment. And also my uncles forced me to go to a boys day out with them and I was just so...
UGHHHHHHHHH!! I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING SQUISHED BY SWEATY STRAIGHT MEN AND I DON'T LIKE IT!
We went to this park that's really famous but all I was doing was spacing out and looking around everywhere cause I honestly didn't know what to do.They keep calling my attention, but luckily I was wearing earphones so I kept pretending like I didn't hear them. We went to this restaurant to eat with my aunts but it was still...ugh idk anymore. They kept talking about stuff I didn't know about and I was just laughing along with them whenever they would laugh...SIS EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY WAS JUST REALLY HORRIBLE, i just wanna go home but guess what sis?? Mom said we're supposed to eat with our aunt for dinner...hmmmmm makes things even worse. Buuttt its third times the charm right??
WRONG
I just hope new years will be better, though I feel like next year's gonna be another stress bomb for me but I guess I gotta keep positive. This day couldn't get any worse right? I guess I'm used to bad things happening to me so I'm not expecting anything at all next year.
See ya'll later <3 sorry if today was kinda short btw
YOU ARE READING
Paul Withers' Gay Diary
RomanceHeY SiS!!! I'm Paul Withers, a young, bisexual writer and an art student, and i wanted a place where i could just let out all my bottled up feelings. I wanted to write it in my notes in my phone but I wanted to share my ShiZzy life to other people...
