Paul Withers' Gay Diary

Jan 7 2019

HAPPY NEW YEAR TASTIESSSSSSS!!! <3333

School starts today and honestlyyyy...I ain't mad anymore. I feel like I'm gonna get through this year cause I grew STRONGER after 2018. I'm kinda positive that i'll do good this year, hopefully. I'm so grateful for the peeps who support me and what I do. Well...now for the TEA. 

After all the days without seeing my crush Drake I thought I'd be having a panic attack when I see him...but sis guess what? I DIDN'T...instead I didn't feel anything and I felt so relieved and happy cause I didn't get nervous. I don't turn into an overly weird human being when he's around anymore and I'm so proud of me:) NEW YEAR NEW ME...I guess, but even if I don't do that anymore I still get starstrucked whenever I see him which is a normal reaction when you see your crush. 

Also I'm avoiding Gucci and Yeezy nowadays cause it feels like I'm fading away from their lives, it's like they don't care about me anymore unlike before, and I always can't relate to what they talk about cause it's always about their boyfriends and people who have crushes on them. Sometimes I wonder if they're even grateful that people, GREAT PEOPLE tend to like them. I feel like they're "used to it" that's why they don't even care anymore, but tbh if I were them I would absolutely appreciate the people who like me as much as I can CAUSE SIS, THESE KINDS OF THINGS DON'T HAPPEN EVERYDAY FOR A PERSON LIKE ME. Another reason why I'm avoiding them is because they make me feel insecure, like we get it, you're pretty stop telling us. Everytime I'm with them they don't even talk to me they talk to each other, fortunately I have Suzy to have my back and talk about why we suck HAHA. Nowadays I go with Coochie and Suzy cause they get me and they make me smile and not make me feel bad, honestly a BIG reason why I go to school is because I'll get to spill tea with them. They support me everyday and make me feel confident and whenever I feel down I could vent out with them :). They're the real bestfriends I could really trust.

OK....PROM'S COMING UP

I am not excited for the dance but I'm excited for the dressing up part. I finally get to show these bishes what they're missing. And our prom is exclusively for the 9th and 10th grade art students, which means...DRAKE IS GONNA BE THERE. I'm excited to see him look sophisticated and dapper cause I'm used to the "bad boy" look he always had. The president of my class told me to dance with all the girls in my section, I don't mind and it'd be a good thing to do so that no one would get rejected by the other boys :). My real date is Coochie...yes she's  THE SISTER, THE KWEEN, THE CHINESE BISH THAT EVERYONE LOVES <3 She told me I was the only one that she's comfortable enough to dance with and that made my gay heart melt. 

AND ANOTHER THING

My classmate, let's call himmm "Elvis", we really aren't that close but he's a nice guy, and in our art subject we were doing silkscreen painting. And while we were watching our mentor demonstrating how to do it, Elvis literally put his head on top of my shoulder. He was shorter than me so he even tip toed up to my shoulder just so he could rest on it. Elvis really isn't a touchy person IN FACT he's a shy guy so I was shook why he did that and I IMMEDIATELY told sister Suzy and she said "Well, maybe he like you" SIS NO Sure, Elvis acts gay sometimes and his gestures are sometimes questionable but HE WOULD NEVER LIKE ME HAHA. I was just shook that he did that to me...TO ME, a person he's not even close to. I would understand if he did it to one of his guy friends but to me? NO SIS I really don't know what happened and I'm confused cause what if he does like me? first of all,it's ok cause he cute uwu <3 second of all, I'd be happy cause after all these months someone finally noticed how boyfriend material I am. But if he doesn't like me, and Suzy was just overreacting and what he did was just a silly joke to try and tease me then I'm fine with that too. Honestly I'm not thinking about having a bf or gf at the moment cause it would be a distraction to my studies and I don't even have money to tend to a potential bf or gf. I just wanna lie low and make life peaceful and chill. I'm not really thinking about anything like that...BUT IF YOU LIKE ME MY INSTAGRAM'S IN MY BIO <3 

JK DON'T DO THAT!!! Geez, I'm not that desperate. :\

But anyways that's all the tea for today sorry for all the months I haven't been writing, I promise to make it up to you guys this year <3

See ya

ALSO JUST TO PUT IT OUT THERE...I'M A BIG FAN OF STEVEN UNIVERSE

uwu