Dec 5 2018

10 3 3
                                    

It's Kimho's birthday...

Yes, the guy that I loved with all my heart and soul and mind. 

I smile everyday...knowing that we're both looking at the same moon together, I just wish I could greet you a happy birthday, cook for you, be with you the whole day...but I can't, you're gone. I wanna hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me...but I can't.

I miss you...I really do, this whole day was supposed to be me celebrating with you, but its actually me grieving over you. 

You're 18 now...but i think you're still the same goofy and cute "hyung". HAHAHA I'm literally crying while writing this i can't haha. OOF anyways I hope you enjoy your special day,just know that even when we can't see or talk to each other AT ALL, i'll always be here and I'll be a good person to everyone I know just like what you did for all of us. :) I'll never disappoint you as I live here in the real world, I'll continue to do what I promised you which is dedicating every single day to you and making sure everyone you love is okay. 

I will never ever forget you. You are the first ever person that understood me out of all the people in the world, you're the puzzle piece that completes the perfect masterpiece in my life. You are the best person I ever met and no one can ever change that fact. I will always keep making myself happy cause that's what you have always wanted even up til the day of your death you still thought of my happiness and how it hurts you that I'm sad. <3 

Okay that's enough...my keyboard is full of tears. Once again, for the last time, happy 18th birthday my "cute koala hyung" <3 I love you so much and I will never ever ever ever forget you. Even if other people come into my life, I will always know for sure that YOU are the first and only person I truly love. 

<3 Paul :(

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