FOREVER [Niall Horan] ✔

Chapter 15.

"All I want is something real, something that is terrifying to the touch but far too beautiful to ever let go of." -Faraway

Ana's POV

His hands grab my wrists above my head as he pushes me against the wall, harshly. His hands hold mine on either side of my face as he forcefully pushes his tongue in my mouth, gaining dominance. He bites my lower lip and an involuntary moan escapes my lips, pushing himself against me so that we are flushed against each other, I can feel his crotch against my stomach. I shut my eyes tightly as his grip starts hurting me while trying not to cry.

"Kiss me back." He growls, his eyes shimmering with something I cannot put a finger on. But I cannot kiss him. I've never seen him like this, so aggressive, so dominating, so rough and so drunk.

"Stop," I shudder in pain. "You're hurting." I try to wiggle out of his grip, but it only gets tighter.

"You're mine to do anything I please!" He holds my wrist with one of his hands and starts leaving sloppy kisses along my neck. His other hand finds its way to the hem of my shirt. He sneaks his hand up it, I shiver as he starts tweaking my clothed nipple between his fingers.

I want to scream, I want him to stop, I want to cry, but I cannot. I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.

Finally, finding my voice I scream at the top of my lungs. "Tyler, stop!" and push him away with all my strength.

I lift my gaze to see Niall standing in front of me with his eyes full of hurt and confusion. And I realise that it was just my memory haunting me. Niall wouldn't hurt me. But he just kissed me.

I didn't expect him to be here, in my kitchen, making pancakes or bread. I expected him to be gone. I know that he stayed last night just out of pity, so why would he be here now?

I cannot even think about yesterday without crying. What have I done to deserve it or rather not deserve it? It was the only thing that gave me... hope. The hope of being happy again. I feel tears prick my eyes, but I try to keep it at bay and make out everything that I am seeing in front of me.

"Niall, y-you d-don't have to-" I refer to the kiss.

"Fuck," His eyes grow darker. "I know, I'm sorry. I don't know, I just wanted you to know... I know it is not the best time... But I'll make you believe!" Believe what? I don't need his pity. I just need someone who can make me forget about it, not constantly remind it.

"You don't have to pity me!" My eyes burn with the fresh tears that are starting to fall down my cheeks.

"I am not, I am just trying to- I'm sorry," He speaks softly and takes a step closer and I, tentatively, take a step backwards. He raises his hand and I flinch. It's not that I don't trust him, my memories are just haunting me. A look of pure grief covers his eyes and he knits his eyebrows together.

"I won't hurt you, ever." He says and tenderly, but hesitantly, skims his knuckles on my cheek and this time I don't pull away.

"Niall, I-I'm sorry for- um- yester-" I hiccup.

"'Ts'k, I'm here and I won't leave you."

***

It's been a couple of weeks since Niall kissed me since I lost my baby. The baby I'll never get to hold, the baby I'll never get to meet, the baby who will never call me mom, the baby that'll never come into this world.

I still can't forget about the kiss we shared a few weeks ago. I still feel it when I touch my lips, I still feel it when I see Niall's lips, wanting them on mine again.