The Lost Souls

Ch 26 // lost time is replaced when its found again

A/N: It's not really a Pansmione/ Panmione chapter and rather seems more like Voldarry/Tomarry (Voldemort / Tom M. Riddle x Harry J. Potter) chapter, but really it's more of a FRIENDSHIP chapter so yeah. Enjoy! : )

Fifth year was an actual hell, but they got through it quite well once Hermione woke up and Pansy and her friendship didn't turn to dust. Everything actually seemed to build its way back up, except for the fact of the Dark Lord being kept locked up, unarmed, and stripped of using his magic, tortured by his thoughts of happiness as long as he was alone.

Harry Potter was happy for his girlfriend to be happy, but he just wasn't all too much there anymore. He didn't know much of happiness, and especially not how to handle things alone. But he couldn't ruin his girlfriend's happiness, nor his cousin's relaxation, nor his best friend's cheerful expression of having his girlfriend back, and especially not the poor girl who risked everything to save him.

So instead of ruining anything, he simply kept it to himself. He couldn't handle it all by himself. He just couldn't do it. Until one day, a very stressful day for him, he made his way to the dungeons that the Dark Lord himself resides in, and he broke apart. He cried the mess of his life out in front of his worst enemy.

Harry didn't even flinch at the touch of his cold hands that found its way to the boy's waist, taking him in a hug of comfort. He could feel the empathy radiating off of his enemy, and he reciprocated the gesture to the man who let out a good cry himself.

"I'm sorry I got in the way of everything. I'm sorry I didn't die when you tried the first time. I'm sorry I didn't die. I'm sorry my existence is a bother to your plans. I'm so so sorry I didn't even die when I tried to, it didn't work, and it should have. I thought of everything that could've gone wrong but it should have worked, it's like I had another life in case something happened. I wish I could've died by my own hand but I didn't and it sucks cause all I want is to die"

Voldemort, sorry, Tom looked at his should-be-archenemy. But they were at their most vulnerable state in front of each other. He never thought there would come a day that something, anything like this could happen. Them sharing something in common? Similar thoughts? Similar desires? Similar wishes to die? How could a hero and his villain have that in common?

"Listen, I'm sorry for even being me. I sorry that I even thought of doing all this stuff, pulling it off and everything. It's just that my life wasn't all too great, living at an orphanage, bullied by an older orphan, not getting adopted, it sucked for me.

"I never knew my parents, and when I found out I had magic, I thought that they were both of magic heritage, because that would make me so awesome and full of love and fulfillment to make up for that. But when I learned that my father was all muggle, all my thoughts got out of hand.

"Now I'm just a fool to think I could actually get revenge for my life being horrible. Life doesn't work like that. I realized that when we were still small kids under the effect of potions. Your friends helped me understand what I needed to avoid becoming who I really am. I feel complete now that I have a sense of what it's like to feel wanted and accepted. I could die right now and I wouldn't care. I've found my real purpose, to live and love, and I've got everything I've ever really needed"

Harry and Tom were both soon out of tears to shed, calming their sobs down, and looking blankly at the wall or the floor. They were both broken, but neither was more than the other. They were equals in status: half-blood, human, alive but dead inside, tired, malnourished in love and care in their childhood. It seemed to them that nothing would ever make them happy. Like everything the world had to offer them was gone.

"Is it alright if I call you Harry?" "If it's alright I can call you Tom" the young boy responded. "Harry, I wish your parents were alive. I wish they could have killed me. I wish they would have lived. I wish they could give you all the love I could never get from my own parents. I'm stupid to think I had to kill my way to happiness. You deserve a better way to live than with no parents, an archenemy, and a scar to remind you of of it"