The Rising (final book of The Call series) ~ TMNT Fanfiction

After the Earthquake

When I was eight years old, I broke my mother's favorite glass plate. She'd gotten it on a trip to Paris when she was in the 8th grade. It was round and thick and a beautiful blue color that shimmered in the sun. I used to choose that plate to eat with whenever we had barbeques outside just to watch it glisten in the sunlight. I sometimes called it 'Beautiful Blue.' We never used it really; it just sat in the cupboard and looked pretty. I always wondered what the point was to have a plate just sitting in a cupboard, but Mom would get so upset if we would go anywhere near it, so I knew it was off limits.

One summer day, I couldn't resist and I decided to just eat one thing using Beautiful Blue. It crashed to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. I remember feeling suddenly frightened and I felt even more worried when four year old Benjamin stood there in the doorway with his hair uncombed and a Popsicle halfway into his mouth.

"Oh no, Benjy! I'm gonna be in so much trouble!" I'd worried, biting my knuckle and pacing back and forth. I'd seen people do it in movies whenever they did something bad, and they were afraid of getting in trouble.

"Mommy won't be mad," Benj had insisted, taking a bite of his Popsicle. "And if she is, I can help you hide." So that was what the two of us did. We packed all of my favorite clothes and toys and I hid in the garden shed. Benj stayed outside to guard it and make sure that Mom didn't find me and get me in trouble. Once or twice I remember hearing Benj say to Mom, "I don't know; I haven't seen her. Maybe you should go buy a dinner plate because we're running out."

Eventually, Mom got suspicious and found me. I began crying and Benj stood in front of me shouting, "Mommy, you can't be mad at Lexi because she's my sister and I will protect her!" Mom ended up laughing a bit (hiding her initial disappointment that I'd broken her favorite plate) and insisted that she wasn't mad.

That day, I learned two things: one; that running away from your problems works for a while, but not forever. And two; that I had one of the best little brothers out there. Both revelations don't help me today because I don't have a brother anymore; and I want to challenge that first theory. Maybe if I stay hidden in my room, speaking to nobody except for Rose, then it will all go away. Maybe the entire world around me will just disappear and I'll fade away.

Maybe I really can run away from my problems. I just have to be motivated to. Before, I never tried running away from them because I knew that something better was to come if I stayed positive. But I know now, with dangerous mutants targeting me and Benjamin gone, I don't have anything else to be motivated by. I can't make any difference in the world because the person that made all the difference to me is gone.

I won't say that he's dead. No, dead means gone forever. He isn't gone forever. He's just...absent. Yeah. He's absent, but he's not dead. I would never have let him be dead. And he would have never done that to me. He's just out, and he'll come back eventually. He always does. Always.

There's a knock at my door. I don't show any intention of getting up and answering it, because I'm not planning on doing so. In fact, I probably wouldn't have even been able to hear it if it weren't for the fact that the person behind the door opens it.

There stands a very cautious looking Leonardo. He's pretty much given up on trying to comfort me or be by my side. I don't want him here. He ripped me away when I could have saved my brother. He knows it's dangerous to be around me now. Every time he tries to start a conversation with me, it turns into an argument with me blaming him.

It's all his fault.

He mutters something under his breath as I stare at him.

"What?" My voice is sharp. He hesitantly looks up at me, but doesn't lock his eyes with mine. He focuses on my hair (which is a mess) or the bracelet on my wrist; anything but the eyes.