Notes To Myself (a Joshler story)

To Josh. (back)

Let's get right to it.

You're Joshua William Dun, and you know that. It's true, so no need to worry about that.

You know who your family is and who your friends are. But you think you're in an unfamiliar place, which is not true. This place should be highly familiar to you, while it's not.

You think you live with your best friend in that apartment that you remember well. You do not. You live here, on your own. This is your place. You used to live here with someone else, but you're on your own here now.

You can't remember, and I'll tell you why. Around two and a half years ago, you were in a huge accident. You were in a coma for around six months and you woke up with your memory - just not all of it. You had lost two years of your memory.

The people you met, things that happened, choices you made, interests you discovered, they were all gone.

The doctors said you might get it back once you get back home and see familiar places, or talk to friends and family about memories from the past two years.

Well, not exactly. That didn't happen. 'Cause when you woke up the next day, you didn't know what happened. The day after, when you woke up, you didn't know what happened.

Long story short: every time you go to sleep at night, you forget everything that happened the day prior. The day you just lived is lost. As if you failed to save the game and your computer crashed before you saved it.

See this letter as an automatic backup that some computer programs and games have so you don't lose all of your progress.

There's some stuff from before those two years that you don't remember either. Those are mostly not major, important things. You remember the most important things and you remember your family. Here and there might be a few small things that you can't remember and you may wonder why, though they happened before those two years.

This is not the only letter. There are countless of more letters. Over the past two years, we - I should probably say I, since we're the same person - wrote as many letters as I could about all kinds of things. I did most of those with help of my family and friends, 'cause they know me while I don't know myself. At least not fully.

Please do not live this day without reading about yourself first. If you open this door - do not do it yet! - go through the door on your left. There's file cabinets, and the drawers are categorized. They're not on alphabetical order, but category, like friends, memories, interests, work, skills, places to go, your apartment, your neighborhood, and much more other stuff. They're all important, but one drawer is the most important one. That's why it's also called 'IMPORTANT'. Read the basic but most important rules first. Do not continue this day without reading the rules first. If you do, you will ruin your life. I wish that was a joke, but it is not. Without reading those rules every time again, you will ruin your whole life. So don't do it. Ever since you got out of the hospital you did exactly that, 'cause I wouldn't be writing this letter if you didn't.

Now, don't do anything before you read the rules. They are important. Go straight to that room, open the drawers and read the rules. The light switch in the room is on your left.

But before you do that, finish reading this letter first.

First, as you might've already expected: you think no time passed since you were living with your best friend in that apartment. But it's 2019 now, it's not 2014 anymore. Your accident happened in 2016. You were 24 when it happened. You're 27 now.

Secondly, I wanna tell you this.
You remember your family, and you remember your real friends that you met many years ago, the ones that stuck around. However, there's one very important and special person that you forget every time. And no matter what: do not forget him this time.

You forget him every night over and over and over again. You can't forget him. You have to remember him. There's nothing more important to remember than him.

I know you have no idea who I'm talking about. Neither did I know when I woke up. I still don't fully understand, but it was in the letter I found on the door this morning, that I - or you - wrote as well. I feel like I failed, but you have a chance now.

After you read the basic rules, read the 'habits' letter.

Don't let me down, me. And do not forget him. Try to remember him this time. You might just succeed if you try really hard.

Good luck.