Destructible (Harry Styles)

Dead To Me

You would be dead to me if I wasn't dead to myself

I smile at Liam's text, of Harry didn't want to go then I would go with Liam. I typed back a yes and drift back to sleep.

I groan when my alarm wakes me but I drag myself up. I'm not looking forward to seeing Jackson again, the hairs on my neck stand up as I push the thought away. I dress in a black jeans with a black top. I tie my hair back and apply some make-up.

When I pull up to school Perrie is waiting for me and I get closer and see her face it's clear that she knows what has happened. I curse and get out walking up to her, she engulfs me a big hug and starts to cry. As people start to stare I get more uncomfortable and my eyes narrow as Harry walks to us.

"You told her!" I hiss pushing Perrie off of me.

"Kris I want to fucking kill that guy and you just want to let him go? That's not okay" He responds

"No! what's not okay is you blabbering personal information! I trusted you! The last thing I need is this" I gesture to Perrie "Everyone finding out and feeling bad about me and gossiping about me"

He gives me an apologetic shrug and walks off.

The day breezes by and I get lunch off campus. When Jackson's class comes I brace myself. I take a deep breath and walk in.

All air leaves my body when I see him and I feel like I'm back in his apartment, trapped. I try to walk but I cant, I can't even breathe, I stand starring as he only glances at me. I'm brought back to reality as I hear Harry approach behind me.

"Kristina" He whispers putting his hand on my shoulder, my body spazes as I whirl around

"DONT TOUCH ME!" I scream, my breathing rigid, Everyone stares at me and Harry is shocked. I try to take a deep breath but no air comes into my system. I run out the classroom trying to find fresh air but I collapse against the lockers once I'm in the hallway. I close my eyes and block everything out. No! I don't want to think about it, I don't want a flashback! I cover my ears and try to breathe. I open my eyes when I feel arms helping me up, I stare at Harry paralyzed as he helps me to my feet.

"Breathe Kris" He tells me taking a deep breath and exhaling. I try to mimick his actions but my breath is shaky. We stand there just breathing for a while before he pulls me toward him. I stand still as his arms wrap around me, I close my eyes and enjoy our hug. Harry doesn't seem like the hugging type. When he pulls away I stare up at him, his face is so close to mine. I can't help myself, I kiss him. I'm angry and sad and confussed but I kiss him, I kiss him hard as he backs us against the locker. Our lips wrap around each other as he slides a hand around my waist to pull me closer. He slips his tongue in my mouth and before I know it we are having a full on make out session.

"Car. Now" I tell him

I lay naked on top of Harry in his car, he's breathing hard, he did most of the work. The sex was empty, like our hearts. It was just fucking, it always is with him.

"School will be out soon" He speaks up.

"How long have you been sleeping with Carly?" I ask him. He doesn't answer at first and I can feel him stiffen.

"A couple days, she's just there you know" He explains shrugging.

I nod. Because I do know how it is, I know his type I've been in the situation and I know that it's no different from us than it is with Carly.

"Well I should go" I get up and start slipping back on my clothes. It's hot and awkward in the tight space and I leave his car only seconds before the bell rings. I go straight home shower and go to sleep. I feel like a zombie. I wake up around 4AM starving. I walk downstairs and make myself a sandwich.

I don't go back to sleep and I don't go to school. I lock my door and when my mom knocks I ignore it. I lay in bed and don't get up till noon. I don't know what to do. I don't want to drink or do drugs I just want to cry, but I'm stronger than that. I have to be. around 2 o'clock my doorbell rings. It's Liam and he has 2 bags of fast food and a speaker in his hand. I can't help but smile.

"So you've been MIA and you think food and a Soundtrack will fix it?" I ask popping another fry in my mouth.

"Pretty much" He shrugs

"Well it worked" I smile.

After finishing our food Liam starts to blast music.
"I heard you've been down lately so I came to the rescue"

"Oh really?" I smirk. In the back of my head I silently pray he doesn't know what happened.

"Yeah so we are going to have a dance party"

We dance and dance around my house. Going from ballroom to jumping around and I laugh so hard I cry. Liam and I are doing the tango when my door opens, I am mid dip when I see Harry's familiar curls at my door. He and Perrie raise an eyebrow at us and Harry's face darkens.

"Looks like we are a little late to the party" Perrie jokes.

Liam brings me back up and I let him go.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask out of breath

"Well Perrie wanted to make sure your okay and you know I do anything to ditch" Harry explains

"Well let's party" Perrie exclaims