Phan Oneshots

Secrets found out

Summary: Stuff happens

Status: Husbands

Warnings: Depression, anorexia, and cutting, please don't read if this will trigger you and stay safe.

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Dan

It's 12 a.m and I'm thinking about how sucky my life is. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, he makes me the happiest person in the world, but keeping this secret, or secrets I guess, is killing me.

I turn around to face him, and find that his eyes are opening. "Bear? Why are you awake?" He asked, concerned. "Oh, I just couldn't get to sleep, I needed cuddles but you looked peaceful." I state to my husband of one year. Next thing I know Phil is wrapping his arms around me and my eyes become tired, and I'm asleep.

*****

    It's the next day and Phil has gone off to work, not aware that when he isn't home I tend to skip every meal and sometimes do.. other things... Today is no exception. I wake up to a space next to me where he should be, get up and go into the kitchen to find one of his notes he writes for me sometimes on the fridge, it read hey love, I'm sorry I had to leave so early today, I got called in early and probably won't be home until later. I made pancakes for you though, they should be in the fridge. Have a wonderful day! ~Phil xoxo

    I frown, today I really needed him here. I could tell this was going to be one if my bad days. I look into the fridge and throw out the pancakes to make it look like I ate them, and get myself a cup of water. I walk into the living room, and start thinking.

I'm so useless.

Phil hates me

I can't even tell my husband I'm such an awful person

Why am I even alive?

Maybe I should just die.

I'm crying by this point, and I feel the urge to do something. Something I do quite a lot actually, I'm suprised Phil hasn't found out yet.

I run into the bathroom, shutting the door and getting out my blades. I figure Phil won't be home anytime soon, as he just left a little while ago. Or I hoped so at least.

I hold the blade to my wrist and Start.

One cut

Two cuts

Three cuts

Four cuts

Five cuts

Phil

I head to the door of the apartment, it's only 12:30 but as I worked so early this morning my boss let me leave early. I open the door right in time to hear "FRICK!" Coming somewhere in the direction of the bathroom. I drop my stuff and run, worried about what had happened.

I get to the door and open it up, to find something I wasn't expecting. Dan, with a blade, to his wrist. He looks up at me, terror in his eyes, and then he's dropping the blade.

"D-Dan, wha-whats going on? Wh-why are you doing this?" I walk up to him, trying to be gentle. "I'm s-sorry." He says, barley even a whisper.

    I grab a towel, wetting it with the sink water and putting it on his wrist before picking him up, only to find him a ton lighter than the last time I carried him, and walked us to our room. Setting him on the bed, I grab his hands and look into his eyes, they are saddened and full of tears that have yet to fall.

    "Two years." He exclaimed. "Two years of what?" I asked confused. "Two years of doing this. I'm sorry, I should have told you." His voice had somehow managed to get even softer and smaller, and the tears that were one in my eyes were now falling down my face. "Why?" I ask, confused. "I don't know, Phil, I just- I feel like you just hate me sometimes, and-and I just can't help it." I frown. "Dan baby, I don't hate you, now, could you lift up your sleeves and shirt for me please? I noticed you were a lot lighter than when I last held you, which was just a few weeks ago." I ask, concerned. He slowly lifts up both of his sleeves and I see a whole bunch of marks. More than the ones just from today. "Dan, please, never do this again. Imagine it's my wrist, imagine your doing this to me, and if you do it still, then come to me and cut me as many times as you cut yourself." I state, looking at him to see his face In a state of fear. "Now, can I lift up your shirt please?" He nodded, so I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up and what I saw terrified me. I could see all of his ribs and even more cuts covering them.

    "Oh Dan... Dan I'm sorry I never noticed this. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you all these times you did all of this. I'm sorry. I love you so much my baby bear. You are my one and only." I was trying to stay calm for his state, but on the inside I was in pain. So much pain. The love of my life who I have been with for 5 years, was hurting himself more than I could ever imagine.

All I knew was that I was going to help him.