This Changes Everything - a Patrick Kane fanfic

chapter twenty-one

Patrick came home from the road trip and I missed him like crazy.

"How are you doing?" He asked 

"We are both doing amazing.." I said as I hugged Patrick

"I missed you both.." He said back to me

I unpacked his bag and started a load of laundry. 

"So you saw my family?" I asked

"Yeah, they came to the came and I told them to come to locker room after. They miss you so much."

"You're the sweetest and I miss them and Minnesota.." 

"I know baby.." He said kissing my head

"But I have you and I have Allison and her family and the team and our babies.." I said thinking of Liam

Patrick pulled me closer and he said, "It was so hard not to tell them about the baby.."

"We should do it soon.." I said

Patrick and I went to bed as it was around one in the morning.

"I don't like being here alone." I said as I laid in his arms

"I don't like being away from you.."

Patrick had practice the next day and then he was hanging out with Tazer. I was home all alone and I called Dylan to talk to him about he state tournament coming up next weekend that I was going to.

Before I knew it, I was on an airplane to Minnesota with Allison to go watch Dylan play his last year of high school hockey.

Allison and I were staying at my house and it was so hard not to tell her about my pregnancy..

She opened a bottle of wine and said, "Drink up!"

"I don't want to drink tonight.." I lied

"Ash, you're going to have a glass of wine with me.." She said 

"I can't.." I said smiling

"No!" She said putting her glass down and her eyes getting super wide

"Yes.." I said smiling back at her

"How far are you?"

"About seven weeks.. So you can't tell anyone.."

"I won't.." She said huggingme

The next day we went to Dylan's first game and they won. They won on Saturday too, and they were in the championship game. They won the game!

We were on the ice and Dylan hugged me and said, "Thank you for being here, I couldn't have done it without you.." 

"Of course, you played amazing. I love you little bro!"

He put his hat on me and we took a picture and we took some family ones too.

We went to the team party after and then back home.

Dylan came over to my house and said, "Ashley, thank you for making me the hockey player I am. You've helped me more than you will ever know. I love you." 

I gave him a hug and I said, "North Dakota is so lucky to have you!"

The next morning, Allison and I flew home to Chicago. Patrick was gone in Arizona and Colorado.

Three days later he returned and I went to take a shower... There was a stabbing pain and there was blood..

I sat on the bathroom floor, crying..

Patrick came in and he knew... I saw the look on his face.. His heart was broken, again. He looked broken..

He knelt down beside me and said, "We're going to be okay.."

I went numb inside.. I got up and got in the shower. I was having a miscarriage.. All I wanted was a baby, but apparently that was too much to want.

I went to bed and didn't say a word to Patrick. Two days later, I was back on the ice.. I was super out of shape and the team knew that.

I came home and I took a long shower, so long that the water became freezing and I stayed in there. Patrick came in, turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around me, and held me in his arms.

"Ash.." He said crying

"I just need to feel something.." I said crying

"Feel my love for you.. I am here for you, no matter what.." He said holding me close to him and kissing my forehead

I worked and worked and I was playing in games three weeks later. We made the playoffs and I was so ready to play. I had been really avoiding Patrick lately. What could I say to him? I can't give him a baby, I keep failing. I feel like a horrible person, mother, and wife..

Patrick also was spending a lot more time with Tazer than he has since we've been together. Maybe we rushed into things too fast?