Outcasts

Dark

As I walked thru the entrance to the bar with ashby, he slid his fingers thru mine and smiled while we flashed the ID's.

"Oh hey ash!" The bouncer called as we walked in. I gulped, looking around. When I was with Riley we always chose to stay away from people, my past experiences made me careful with them. But here we were, me and peculiar ashby, in a karaoke dance bar.

"Vodka and orange juice" he told a bartender as he took a perch on a stool, dragging me onto the one too. "And just a lemonade for her," he said with a smile. I nodded, untangling our fingers as my heartbreak girl tattoo caught my eye, bringing up a wave of guilt. What was I doing here with ashby? Was this some kind of date? Why?

I was interrupted by our drinks arriving. I sipped on my lemonade as ashby looked around, looking oddly comfortable in this place, and at the same time- beautiful. Ashby really was handsome, his curly blonde locks always fell perfectly and his dark rimmed glasses and green eyes were gorgeous. I let my eyes wander over him before I realized he was watching me to.

"Like what you see?" He snickered. I scowled, suddenly standing and walking across the floor to leave. I'm so dumb, I thought as I felt ashby's warm hand on my wrist, pulling him into me and swaying me to the music. "I was making a joke," he murmured into my ear as I relaxed.

I knew it was dumb, that that tiny phrase shouldn't have made me feel so small and pathetic but it had. I sighed as ashby spun me around, and pretty soon I was smiling as we swayed.

"You tell me what the tattoos on your hips are and I'll tell you what mine is," I heard him say quietly as the beat of the music changed, and his hands crept to my hips, moving me to the salsa beat as I laughed, actually having a good time.

"I have a cats silhouette," I paused, "because I think a cat is a good representation of who I am." I watched ashby nod, as if he was agreeing before his hands jerked and I was being lowered, ashby dipped me, his hand slid down behind me knee before artfully standing me upright.

"The other?"

"An owl, for wisdom," I told him. He smiled, his perfect teeth glistening as he nodded.

"My backs covered with a tiger," he started, "the stripes end on my shoulders, anyway, then there's an elephant skull," he nibbled his lips. "Not really a meaning I just thought it was pretty."

That was a lie, I could see it in his eyes, but I just nodded. Some things I'd never know about him, like why his hand had been bandaged at school.

We danced a while longer before leaving, smiles painted on both our faces.

"So Austen was Riley's best friend? Yours too?" He asked suddenly. I nodded, "is it weird having him back?"

I sighed, sitting on the back of ashby's bike as he stood in front of me, studying my face. "Yeah, it is. I keep waiting for Riley to pop up and yell "Carlisle, stop hitting on Hamilton," but it doesn't happen and I have to remind myself everyday that I did this. He was a good kid, and I hurt him because he hurt me and it killed him." I could feel tears growing in my eyes, so I closed them. Suddenly ashby's arms were around me. "It really is my fault, I was so afraid of turning out like my mom- I killed him. The one thing that ever really showed me love."

"No. That was his choice. He chose not to let it go, he chose to ruin himself, but you stayed strong, and guess what? You got your brother back, you're still here. He made his choice, just like you make yours everyday. Don't you ever blame yourself again," he murmured as he pulled away and sat in front of me, starting the bike.

An hour later ashby and I sat by on the lake shore when his cellphone buzzed. "Hold on a sec," he mumbled as he stood up and wandered away. I watched him until the shadows swallowed him up, but I could still faintly hear his voice. "Yeah I know I said I'd be there." Pause. "Look you told me to deliver later." Pause. "Yeah it's my job but I don't want to mess this operation up, I could lose my position, and the pay is good," he grumbled. Delivery? Pay? In my head, ashby's words sounded like some kind of drug operation. I sighed, standing up and stretching my legs out as figures approached. Chastity and Travis. Chas had been taunting me since Riley died, and Travis- I don't think he ever actually liked me.