What Voldemort Left Behind

Chapter 6 - Nightmares

Harry was paralysed with fear. He felt like the crying one year old baby in the cot again, only this time it was a different James and Lily being murdered, dying to protect him. The lights were blinding, spells going off in the dark from every direction. Everywhere he turned he saw bodies, Hermione, killed by Bellatrix as she died to protect her children. It was torture to him, he could not summon up the will to fight for them, too scared to jump in front of a curse. Bellatrix, having used the cruciatus curse on Hermione so far past the stage of madness that she was dead, was now subjecting Harry's daughter to the same fate. Lily screamed helplessly, she was still a child and had stood no chance against the insane but brilliant witch, but she had still stood her ground, tried to fight, something that Harry could not summon the courage for. Right beside them was Albus, laying still and couldn't even scream as Nagini tore apart every inch of his body, he was barely alive, the only hope for him would be if Harry was to destroy her with the sword of Gryffindor, too bad it would never come, because even if it was right there Harry would have been too scared to do it. Worst of all, behind Albus and Lily was a circle of people. Right in the centre was Voldemort, and to Voldemort's right was James. Harry recognized many faces surrounding them, but their eyes were glazed over and they were shooting spells out with no regard for what they were doing. Mrs Weasley hit James's arm with a reductor curse, he howled in pain as it was blasted apart. Neville missed with findfyre and Harry saw Sirius at the other side of the curse get eaten by a terrible golden snake. Voldemort himself frequently slashed his wand towards Harry's child and it hurled out spells that Harry didn't even know were possible. James screamed. Lily screamed for the last time and went still as Bellatrix cackled and sung. Albus had no blood left to keep him alive. Harry did nothing. Suddenly whatever was left of Harry crumpled in agony as he heard Ginny yell his name. She was so close and if he had just found the courage to even stun her attacker, he could save her. He watched as tears rolled down her eyes and she fought to stay alive. Umbridge was carving words into her skin and Harry was too distracted by her yelling his name to take them in. He knew he should save her. And James. And everyone he knew and loved who were forced into playing the roulette. Otherwise sooner or later they'd end up dead. He knew he had to save them but he couldn't, he just didn't do it. And then everything disappeared.

He slowly opened his eyes and he gradually adjusted his eyes to the room he was in. Ginny was kneeling beside him, her face pale with worry. Harry realized he was shaking violently, his face was dripping with sweat. He turned his head slightly and saw Ron and Hermione in his bedroom, he couldn't quite work out why, but both looked very shaken and held their wands loosely to the side.

"Harry calm down it's okay, you're okay, you killed Voldemort more than twenty years ago. I'm sorry for shouting your name, I know that probably made it worse but I needed you awake. I fire called Ron and Hermione, I didn't know what was happening to you."

Harry tried unsuccessfully to sit up, still shaking. Guilt washed over him, neither Ginny, Ron or Hermione should be awake at this hour, he was ashamed that he still couldn't control his nightmares.

"Harry, please don't move, just stay still for a minute and everything will be fine," Ginny reassured him.

"James, Al, Lily...Where are they?" Harry panicked, what if he'd caused them harm?

"Nothing happened Harry... None of this was real," Ginny informed him quietly, "You were here the whole time. This hasn't happened in a while, has it?"

"It all felt so real."

This time Ron spoke. "It was like that time you had the vision of my dad with the snake, but longer. We didn't know if what you were seeing was real until you started yelling about Ginny."

Hermione nodded while Ron was speaking and then continued on when he had finished. "Harry, we had a theory... we know that when you were killed in the Forest you lost your connection to Voldemort so that can't be it. It couldn't be a normal nightmare either because magic would easily overpower it. We think that maybe... you had some kind of magic aided nightmare, that since you are clearly so affected by everything, as you should be of course, no one could even imagine what it was like to be in your shoes, not even us and we were involved too. But we were thinking that possibly when these memories take over you, your magic is sort of driven inwards. Kind of like Dumbledore's sister Ariana." She waited warily for Harry to respond.
It fit so well and almost immediately he was sure that's what was happening but it made him feel so ashamed and guilty. How was it that everyone else was able to properly control their emotions but he was left unable to move after a simple nightmare? He was supposed to protect them, not the other way around. He felt as helpless and selfish as the nightmare had made him feel. He imagined Ginny crying over his unconscious body as he twisted and shouted in agony. He felt awful for hurting her like that. He always had, couldn't he just suffer by himself for once? Harry felt as if he was the only one to be unable to pull himself together and get on with life.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry I put all three of you through this, I'm sure I'll be fine, you just go to work and I'll take care of this." Again, Harry tried to sit up, unable to hide the grimace of pain.

"Harry, mate, no offense but how can you ever think we'd leave you like this?"

Ginny took Harry's hand gently, looking into his eyes. "I'm never leaving you alone again. I'll always be there for you. Always."

Harry shook his head, still resting it on the pillow.
"Ginny you should hurry and get to work, Hermione too, you never take a morning off."

Ginny smiled gently "Sorry Harry but I already told them I couldn't make it, I'm afraid you're stuck with me."
Harry stared back in confusion. "How did you get off? I thought everyone at the Prophet was swamped with the Chudley Cannons match? They actually won!"

Ginny grinned "Yeah most are, but in case you haven't noticed I'm an ex professional quidditch player, a war hero in a family of war heroes and the wife of the "Chosen One". I told them it was a family issue and they offered me a month off on double pay," she joked. Seeing Harry's concerned face she added, "And luckily my department know that if they dare make a front page story about you that doesn't mention Quidditch..... Well my Bat Bogey hexes have only gotten stronger with age."
"A month off?" Hermione smirked, "That's what you get for working with wizards who keep up with celebrity news."
Harry groaned at being referred to as a celebrity. Hermione was a research scientist, a department of the Ministry created by her, that works with muggles and wizards to find links between magic and muggle sciences. After she completed Hogwarts education apparently this wasn't enough, she studied a degree in science and philosophy at a muggle university for four years while working to reform the Ministry of Magic. She spent half her time researching at a prestigious university near London, working with very boring muggles, and the other half in her real office in the Ministry. Some high ranking muggles understood her position but most just assumed she was what they called a "scientist". Most of the wizards in her Ministry department were all quite old and boring, a bit mad and very out of touch with society, on Harry's last visit to her office, one had mistaken Harry for a trainee working in the Department of Magical Catastrophes.
Hermione continued, "My department still think that Dumbledore is Headmaster of Hogwarts and asked me had I heard of him."
Harry laughed. "What did you tell them?"

"I told them the truth, but yes, I had heard of him, in fact he left me a book in his will. It was quite weird actually, they were all very upset about his death and I was wondering how on this earth they could have missed the whole war. I mean, they were very old, they had to have lived through it. Anyway, I told them I couldn't come in today and I think they understood. They're brilliant at their jobs but I thought my social skills were bad...."
Slowly the morning passed and Kreacher, always eager to help, made a mountain of treacle tart which Harry didn't feel up to eating. He didn't want to hurt the house elf's feelings as he pushed the dessert around his plate, but luckily Ron was more than capable of dining for two. Harry still felt shaken and sore but he was glad to spend time with his three favourite people, as the years went on, their time together was always limited.