What Voldemort Left Behind

Chapter 19 - The Argument

Lily, James and Albus wanted to be together that night, the other two had sneaked down to Albus's room after saying goodnight to their mum, careful not to disturb anyone, not that a single person in the house would be able to sleep. Luckily every bed in the house was reasonably big so the three siblings could comfortably fit in the same bed rather than searching the house for sleeping bags.

-

Ginny finally returned to her room a few minutes after she sent the three kids to bed. Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her.

"I saw the kids, we gave them something to eat and everyone went to bed afterwards. How was your day?"

"Fine." Harry did not look fine.

"Well these few days will be pretty bad. They'll never get better but you have to make the rest of the year good," she said, completely ignoring his lie.

Suddenly Harry went into a rage. He grabbed a small bedside table and threw it at the wall, the wood broke apart.
"IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I should have gone earlier, as soon as the diadem was destroyed I should have just let him kill me rather than waiting for that fucking snake. It was because of me that Remus and Tonks died, I could have saved them, they should have survived not me."
Quieter, he asked, "Why does Teddy not hate me more? He should want nothing to do with me, I took his parents away. And Fred... why doesn't George want to punch me until I can't move? Why did he welcome me into his family, not object when I married his sister, so now I can ruin your life too? Why does Dennis Creevey not rip me limb from limb for taking away his brother? He hates me but hate isn't enough for everything I did."
Harry grabbed a glass vase from on top of the chest of drawers, smashing it to pieces as it hit the ground. Water spilled everywhere and flowers lay scattered in the wreckage. The ink on the card attached ran and smudged as it touched the water. It said:

Dear Mr Potter,

Thank you for what you did on this day, you're always in our thoughts and prayers.

The rest of the note and the name were already washed off. Ginny picked it up and set it gently on the other table that was still intact but she knew Harry didn't care. She watched him as silent tears slipped down his face.

"Why does anyone care about me? Why do they like me, respect, even as far as love? Why do you not want to leave me? I SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO DO THIS TO YOU ANYMORE."

"Harry, it isn't your fault. I know you need told this every day and I'll tell you until you believe it. You couldn't have done anything more please listen to me, there is nothing else you could have done. It was their choice to fight, no one else's and especially not yours."

"ALL I EVER WANTED WAS A NORMAL LIFE, I CAN'T EVEN GET AWAY FROM VOLDEMORT WHEN HE'S DEAD. I don't deserve a life anyway," he finished bitterly.

Ginny quietly cast a disarming charm, she was worried Harry could do himself serious damage, disarmed at least anything broken could be fixed. She stayed close to him but allowed him to continue his fit of anger.
"I WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. I WANT TO DIE. I want to stop being a burden on you."
Harry smashed the window in frustration and slammed his hand into the shards of glass left behind. They pierced his skin, blood trickled down making his hand completely scarlet, the scars on his hand from Umbridge were completely obscured by the blood that was starting to stain the white carpet. "I know. But you're not. You will never be a burden on me, I chose to be with you." Ginny's quiet words made him stop. He almost lost his balance, bent over and barely able to stand since he was still technically supposed to be on bed rest after his magic induced flashbacks at Easter, he was two days away from the three week mark. His head was spinning and he had no energy left and could barely breathe. Ginny helped him to sit and healed his hand before he would object.
"I'm so messed up, and it won't get better. This isn't what you deserve."

"Harry, I love you. I thought you knew that after Dumbledore died and I had to drag you away from his body. Or after the Battle, when you refused to talk to anyone for weeks, you just locked yourself away and I had to bring you back to us. I'm never leaving."

-

The next morning when Ginny came downstairs, her mum was already cooking at 6am.

"He's gone already."

Her mother sighed. "Of course he is."

"He got really angry last night. Destroyed half the room and he said..." She didn't want to finish and she didn't have to.

"I heard, I think everyone did dear. I knew that you were the only person who could help him when he got like that... You're a perfect fit with him, you have a way of calming him down that even Ron and Hermione couldn't come close to."

"Do you think the kids heard us last night?"

"Yes. I highly doubt they had any more sleep than we did, they know what day it is and what it means, they're not five anymore, sadly. I'll take care of them, I need something to keep myself occupied, we may as well get started on Victoire's cake but I doubt she'd come over to eat it. The poor girl, I feel terrible that her birthday falls on the one day no one feels up to celebrating."

"I'm going to find Harry... if he wants to be found, if he doesn't then I just have to hope he comes back at the end of the day. 20 years of marriage and I still can't understand him sometimes."