Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 2: Forever and Always

Once we got to the hospital, it seemed like my mother got worse, she was coughing up blood, something I've never seen her done. I panicked, and banged on the front desk, and screamed, "we need a doctor NOW!!!"

A nurse ran up to me and asked me what was wrong, I told her everything. I explained to her that she's been in this condition for the past year and a half, and she wouldn't go to the doctor. A few nurses came rushing immediately took her to the back. I waited in the lobby for hours. They finally came back and told me that I should go speak with my mom. She was in her hospital bed, I sat next to it and held her hand. As she spoke, her voice was weak and croaky, but I could still understand her.

"Listen, Liz....honey, I want you to know that I love you so much. When I needed someone, you were there to talk to me, to comfort me, to laugh with me...even when I got on your nerves you never lost love for me,"

Tears began forming in my eyes.  I had a bad feeling in my gut. Something terrible was happening, and I knew what, but I never wanted to believe it.

"Liz, what I am about to tell you is going to be heartbreaking. It was hard to believe myself, and I was heartbroken about it too, but it's life. Things happen...Liz.... I have brain cancer. And I'm not going to live on past tonight.....I love you so very much, Elizabeth, and I want you to promise me one thing,"

There goes the river of tears, I held her hand close to my chest and nodded as I squeezed her hand.

"I want you to keep me in your heart forever and always...and I want you to try to stop cutting...your beautiful skin is a god given gift. You're a beautiful young lady, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise,"

"I love you, mommy, please stay, please try to hang on, please, I can't make it without you, I need you!"

"Elizabeth, I....."

Her eyes close.

Her breathing stops, and her grasp in my hand loosened.

That's when the heart monitor went flatline, I shot up from my chair and looked at the monitor.

"NO!! NO, MOMMY PLEASE COME BACK, I NEED YOU, I CAME HERE WITH YOU, AND I'M GOIN TO LEAVE WITH YOU!!!COME ON WAKE UP PLEASE, YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT!!"

From all the screaming I was doing, the nurses tried to pull me away from my mother, but I still held her hand, I screamed and shout, and my hand eventually slipped.

I fell to my knees as they pulled the cover over her face. I lost my best friend. I lost my first love, my world, my mother. I couldn't bare to watch another minute, so I dashed out to the car.

I screamed to the top of my lungs until they felt like they were going to explode. I started the car, but didn't move yet. I stared at the passenger seat, where mom sat on the way here.

My heart dropped, and that's when reality hit me.

She's really gone.

When I got home, Dean was boarding up the broken window, I gave him a busted lip and black eye from earlier. A few cuts and bruises. I didn't even speak to him, I just sat the keys on the couch and headed for the stairs, but I was stopped by him. He grabbed my arm.

"Where's your momma?"

I sniffled as I turned to tell him the news, wondering if he would be devastated.

"She's....gone,"

"Gone? Whachu mean gone, she comin back right?"

"Nope....Dean, she had cancer. She didn't find out until tonight, and she passed about an hour ago,"

I slid from Dean's grip, and continued to walk upstairs to my room. As I closed my door, I locked it and turned on the light, staring at the posters on my walls. I began breaking my stuff, and pulling out drawers, tearing drawings, and ripping clothes. I completely freaked!

What am I gonna do now that my mom is gone? The one person who actually cared.

When I finished wrecking my room, I sat on my bed and continued my crying session. I grabbed the framed picture of my mother and I from my dresser and stared at it. It was the photo we took when we went to this cool laser show last year. We watched people do all kinds of cool tricks and performances that night and had a great time. I stared at our happy smiles once more before lying down with my eyes closed.

"Forever and always," I whispered to myself.