Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 12: In the band/let down

When we got to the hospital, we immediately ran to Ryan's  room, the guys were standing around his bed, Ryan had a cast on his arm and his leg.

"What the fuck, Ry, what happened?!" Chris asked.

"I was uh...doing parkour and jumped from a three foot platform and missed a step and took a pretty bad fall, I can't play for the tour this summer for warped,"

All of the guys sighed in disappointment, Ryan is the lead guitarist in the band, I can play guitar. I've been playing for 5 years now. The guys looked very disappointed, I shyly spoke up.

"um, guys...I have a....suggestion.."

They all looked at me, I felt pressured into doing this, I forced myself to do this, to help the band.

"um...maybe I can...fill in Ryan's place until he gets better? I've been playing guitar sense I was 14. "

They all stared at each other, rubbing their necks and scratching their heads.

"Have you played recently?" Devin asked.

I haven't played sense my mother died. I used to play my guitar just for her when Dean made her sleep on the couch. She would listen to me strumming on my guitar until she fell asleep.

"I haven't played for a few a months, but I am good, really,"

"How about this, we'll listen to you play, then we'll decide," Ricky said.

I nodded my head and looked at Ryan, he faintly smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up.

"I guess we better get going then, Ry, are you going to be okay?" Chris asked, Ryan nodded his head, we soon left and went to Ricky's house, where I can play the guitar. We all went to the basement where the guitars were, Ricky gave me a white one, I put the strap over my shoulder and plugged in the cord that was connected to the amp. My fingers tremble on the strings, I can't screw this up. I just went for it, and played "We Only Come Out at Night", it was one of my favorite songs to play on the guitar, I was starting to have fun with it, I haven't felt the love of playing music in so long, and it felt so good. I danced around a little as I played, and head banged, and flip my hair. I immediately switched from "We Only Come Out at Night" to "City Lights", my all time favorite song by MIW. I used to sing it to my mom, and I sung it at her funeral, which was very emotional. As I played, I didn't even pay attention to the guys, I just imagined playing for a huge crowd, which was my dream- to be a performer. There's a lot I haven't mentioned, I bet that surprised you. Anyway, after I finished playing, the guys all looked at each other. I couldn't tell if they like it or not.

"YOU'RE IN!" They exclaimed, I put my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming in excitement, we all hugged each other, Ricky winked at me, after our hug which was kinda weird.

"You're great, we can't wait to see everyone's faces when they see a girl filling in Ryan's place," Devin said.

"I hope they'll like me,"

"They'll love you!" Ricky said.

Chris just smiled at me, while Balz was behind him dancing, making me laugh.

"Rehearsals start Friday night, okay?" Chris said, I nodded in excitement and gave Ricky his guitar back. We all talked about Warped, and rehearsals while we hung around the kitchen. Soon after, Chris and I headed for the car and left.

"Why didn't tell me that you can play guitar? You're sick!" Chris said as he smiles. That what I love about him. He's always smiling, he's such a friendly person, and he's so sweet.

"There's a lot that you don't know about me...you learn something every day, I guess..." I replied.

I look down at my hands,  then at my wrists, noticing that my scars are almost invisible, I smiled at my self.

"I'm proud of you, L, you haven't gave in to cut, and you're still fighting," he smiled, parking the car in the driveway.

"Liz...there's been something I've been meaning to tell you, but I've never had the time to tell you..."

He takes a deep breath and looks at me in the eye. I begin to feel nervous, it felt as if the car was closing in on us, the air was getting thick, I found it hard to breathe, my hands got sweaty, and stomach tied into big knots.

"L....Ricky really does like you!" he says. I immediately felt disappointment, I felt let down. I knew it was too good to be true. I couldn't let him know that I thought that he was going to tell me that he has feelings for me. No way. So, I pretended that I was happy.

"Oh, wow, really?! I'm so relieved now that you've told me! I've had a crush on him for so long,"

"I knew it! You two would make a hot couple,"

He got out the car after that, my fake smile immediately faded. I was let down yet again.