Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 19: Mixed emotions

It's been almost a month sense Ricky's confession to me. We've gotten a lot closer sense then actually. After every show we do, we hang out somewhere and talk for a little bit and have fun. Two days ago he took me to this rock n roll museum, that was pretty cool, and today we were heading to the beach. We decided to go at night sense it was quieter and more private. We sat in the sand, and watch the waves crash. He handed me a beer.

"I don't really drink," I said.

"well, when you're with me, you're going to drink," he said laughing dryly.

I grinned and popped open the bottle and took a sip the same time Ricky did.

"Listen, Liz, I know that ever sense I told you how I really felt made things kinda awkward for us, I didn't mean for it to be that way,"

"don't sweat it, it may be awkward sometimes but it also brought us closer. We barely even spoke before. Now we hang out a lot more, and we talk more too, and I'm glad we do,"

Ricky smiled.

"Me too," he said as he smile at the sand.

"So..." he said.

"so..." I repeated.

It got quiet. All you could hear was the ocean crashing, which was so peaceful. I could fall asleep to it. Ricky cleared his throat and then lightly tapped on my shoulder, I turned my head to look at him, then suddenly he crashes his lips on to mine. He breaks the kiss and looks at me shockingly, I share the same expression. My mouth dropped open.

"Oh, fuck, I don't know what made me do that, I'm sorry-"

"I better go," I said giving him my beer and running off, I could hear him calling for me to come back. I ran into the alley to hide and cry. I cried because Ricky kissed me. And the bad thing about it was I liked it. I didn't want to, but I did. I immediately felt like a terrible person because I thought about Chris, and his big heart that he spills for me whenever we're alone. I couldn't stop crying, then that's when I felt a grip around my waist. I screamed, not knowing who was behind me, he whispered. "Let's do this for old times sake, little sis," I immediately panicked and struggled to get out of his grip. He dragged me to a dumpster and lied me on it, unbuttoning my pants, I slap and kick him as much as I could.

"Get the fuck off of me, Jeremy!" I screamed out.

He refused and continued to try to slide down my jeans, I finally got to slide down and hit him with my elbow in the jaw, I buttoned my pants and made a run for it. I ran for a full ten minutes to the hotel. When I got there, I bumped into Balz in the lobby, I began gasping for air. Oh, no, I began having an asthma attack, I haven't had one in years! Balz tried to help me calm down, by holding me and patting my back and shoving water down my throat but nothing was helpin. That's when he whistled loudly and the guys came rushing to us, when I saw Chris's scared face my lungs about felt like they were going to explode, he tried calming me down, everyone tried. Nothing worked at all. Devin immediately dialed on his phone, then everything went black.

I blinked my heavy eye lids open and looked around my surroundings. I was obviously at a hospital. I was lying in the bed with an oxygen mask on. On one side of the room Devin and Balz and Ryan were sitting on the long couch, snoring away.  On the other side, was Ricky and Chris, sitting on separate chairs, asleep, mouths hung open, snoring. I looked at the time on the wall. It was 3 in the morning. I snapped off the mask and struggled to get out of bed to change, I was making a ruckus, the wires stuck to me pushed everything off the table next to the bed, the guys woke up and immediately put me back to bed.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You were having an asthma attack," Chris responded.

"Oh...can we go now, I really hate hospitals,"

"You can't go until Doc says so," Chris replied. I sighed in disappointment, Ricky slid the oxygen mask on my face, but I snapped it off again.

"I don't need it, I can breathe fine,"

"If you didn't need it, we wouldn't be ," he responded.

"Don't use that against me, I was running okay?"

"Why were you running?" Balz asked.

I sighed, and told the rest of the guys the same story about my brother that I told Chris, then I added that I was walking to the hotel alone, and Jeremy pulled me into an alley and tried to rape me. I had to make up some of it, I couldn't tell Chris that Ricky and I were hanging out at the beach and he randomly kissed me. The guys were shocked at the news I told them.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us this?" Devin asked.

I shrugged, not wanting to tell them about the whole "snitches gets stitches" saying. They all just sighed in disbelief.

"We're stocking up on security, and make sure he doesn't come near you again," Chris assured me.

"No, don't do that! I don't want any of you worrying about me every minute I'm alone, that's stressful!"

Finally the doctor walks in to announce that I could leave. I immediately pulled off all the wires that were stuck to me and grabbed my clothes and headed in the bathroom to change. Once I changed we headed to the hotel to get some rest. Chris stopped by my room.

"I'm gonna crash here, just for tonight," he says as he sits on my bed and sliding off his shirt. I didn't say anything, I was too tired and too stressed to say anything. I just changed into my pajamas and got under the covers with Chris and turned off the lights. He got up and immediately turned them back on, he stared at me.

"What," I said in a tired tone.

"You're stressed about something, wanna talk about it

?"

"No, I'd rather not,"

"well, there's gotta be something I can do for you to relieve some of it?"

"Probably not"

He slowly climbed on my back, lifting up my shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to give you the best massage ever," he whispered.

"Now relax, and let me take care of you,"

He slowly slid off my shirt and dimmed the lights. He crawls back on my back and begins giving the best massage I've ever had. His hands, were rubbing and pressing on my back, and all I could do was lie there and bite my lip. He then unsnaps my bra and kisses my back, leaving wet traces. I could feel my eyes roll back to my head, he continues and lightly bites my neck, I let out a light moan. He then kisses my neck and back, then he turns me over and kisses my chest.

He whispers in my ear,

"I'm going to make you feel real good, so relax and let me take control,"

This is it I guess. Here comes that special moment.