Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 34: The Cemetery/Girls love girls and guys

The next day...

I woke up in my own puddle of sweat, I gasped for air, and took deep heavy breaths. I had a nightmare. I was running through the woods, calling out for my mother, I finally found her, sitting on a tree branch high above a river.

"Mom, come down!" I demanded.

She wipes a tear and says,

"Forever and always remember?" Then she jumped off the branch, and landed in the river. I tried to move my feet, and save her, but I couldn't move, I just let out screams, then Dean took an axe and swung it in front of me, that's when I woke up. That's when I remembered what today was. I sighed and dragged myself out of bed, Chris was still asleep. It was around 9:00. I put on my undies and a big enough shirt to cover myself. My heart sank as I thought about my mother some more. She's missed so much. I graduated, moved away from Dean, found love, someone who actually fucking cares, I have friends, I stopped cutting, and I started a band. I believe she would be proud of me. I grabbed my jeans and slid them on and went outside to the back yard, where the pool was, but it was covered, it was still too cool for the pool, I sat in the grass and watched the sun rise. I closed my eyes and thought about her again.

"You miss her," chris says.

I turn to look at him, he was wearing his basketball shorts from last night, but no shirt, he sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Of course...she was my best friend..she was all I had left...until you came along.." my voice cracked.

He kisses my head.

"Wanna visit her?" He asks.

"I wish I could,"

"You can...we can buy some flowers and visit her grave for a few minutes in memory of her," chris suggested.

I thought about it. I shivered, not knowing if it's from the thought of her grave site, or the cold breeze. I shook my head in agreement. We headed in the house to tidy ourselves up and left. We bought white roses. They were her favorite. When we arrived the cemetery, I immediately felt sick to my stomach, each and every step we took, my knees got weaker and my eyes burned due to the forming of tears, but Chris held me to his side. We stopped in front of her head stone, I wiped a tear away with my sleeve, and sat the roses down.

"I wish I could speak to her..." I said, as Chris held me tight, our eyes still attached to her grave. I think Chris was getting sad also, I even heard him sniffled a few times.

"Say something to her," he said as he rubs my back.

I looked up at him, he nodded and walked back a few feet, waiting for me to say something. I kneeled down and stared at her beautiful granite headstone.

In Loving Memory of Caroline Marcum, a wonderful Mother, sister, daughter, and person. R.I.P. 1975-2013

Was written on it.

" I miss you, mommy...I wish you would've gone to doctor when I told you before it was too late...you were always stubborn,-chuckle- I guess we're both stubborn. I think about you 24/7. A lot has happened. I graduated, but I'm not going to college. I have your name on my wrist...I met our favorite band, Motionless in White! They're really cool, we're all so close, especially me and the lead singer, Chris! He's my boyfriend actually. I don't live with Dean, I have my own apartment, but I stay with Chris a lot. I'm in love with him...we love each other very much. There's a huge age difference, 7 years actually, I hope you still approve of him, -giggles-...I'm in a band...that's about it....that's all I have to say...I love and miss you, I can't wait to be reunited with you in the future, mommy. Love you, forever and always..."

I bursted into tears, chris helped me up and walked me to the car, then we went to my apartment and relaxed.

The next night, Maria and I decided to go out. We'd been dancing all night, but my feet didn't hurt yet,.maybe because I wore my old converses, I had drawn band names on them and logos on them. I had on high waisted shorts with skeleton suspenders and a white button up shirt. My hair was curled and I'd only worn eyeliner. Maria had on a tight red dress, black leather jacket, and black wedged heels, her hair long and wavy, and natural make up.

A long haired, blonde chick walked up to us.

"You girls here together?" She asked. Maria nodded and continued dancing with me.

"Mind if I dance with you two?" She asked again.

We shrugged our shoulders and the three of us danced together.

"I'm Alison," she introduced herself. We told her our names and continued dancing, after we got tired, we threw back a few drinks and immediately got drunk. I still get that warm feeling in my gut, but I loved it. Everything was swaying from side to side, making me stumble along with Maria and Alison. We made it outside into the fresh air, and embraced it. Alison was the first to puke. I could see her big hazel eyes water up.

"What a way to hold down your liquor," I said jokingly. Maria giggled and Alison wiped her mouth.

"Hey...lets do something crazy," Alison suggested. She took off her heels, as did Maria. Alison began running down the street, Maria followed along. I raised an eyebrow and tumbled to the ground, quickly picking myself up and running after them. After running through alleys, and jumped over picket fenches, Alison stripped to her panties and bra during the run, dropping her clothes on the ground behind her. Maria slid off her dress and tagged along with Alison. I was confused at what they were doing, then I immediately caught on, and stripped also. We all held hands and ran, jumping into the huge pool, that was in someone's huge back yard. It seemed that no one was home, as we made a lot of noises, and no one coming to see what was up.

We swam and splashed and giggled like the three drunkies we were. I dived under the water and swam to the bottom, letting myself float back to the surface. Once I came back up for air, everything was quiet. I wiped my eyes and immediately saw Maria and Alison making out in the corner of the pool.

"Uhh..." I said confusingly. I've seen two girls kiss before, but not up front, only in movies. And the only time a girl kissed me was Lainey and she forced it, so I really didn't know how to act. I felt awkward watching them make out, especially since we literally just met Alison tonight. She is pretty though. Hazel eyes, long eye lashes, natural red head, pale skin, kinda tall, not to mention her body was covered in beautiful tattoos. They broke the kiss and giggled and turned to me, my jaw was dropped, but I quickly picked it up. They swam to me and surrounded me, then Alison moved my hair away from my neck.

"What was that all about?" I asked nervously.

"Just girls having fun," Alison responded.

"Have you ever made out with a girl?" She asked, sliding her finger up and down the back of my neck. My turn on spot. That's how Chris gets me started.

"No," I responded shakily.

"Do you want to?" Maria asked, putting her hand on the side of my face.

My face burned from blushing. I shook my head no.

"Why? Is it because of Chris? He doesn't have to know, this can be our secret," she suggested. I shook my head and swam away, getting out of the pool.

"Oh come on, have some fun!" Alison exclaimed in a laughing tone.

"Girls can love girls and guys, ya know?" She added.

I slid on my clothes and said no for the last time, then that's when we heard police sirens.

"Shit, someone caught us and called the cops!" Maria said exclaimed. They both got out, struggling to put on their clothes then we sprint and jumped over more gates and alleys.

For some reason I regretted not kissing them, especially Maria. What's going on with me?