Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 22: Torn

I ran after Ricky into our touring bus and stopped him before he ran to the bathroom, I grabbed his arm and turned him around. I could see his eyes tearing up, getting red and puffy, he broke the eye contact by putting his guitar in his bunk. I put mine in my bunk which was above his and I reached for his hand but he moved it away, wiping his nose and sniffling.

"Ricky, I-"

"No, save it. It's not like I spilled my heart out to you, and fell harder and harder for you by the second, only to find out that you're dating my best friend. I'm not crushed at all, I'm not pissed that you didn't tell me anything about this at all! It's not like I LOVED YOU AT ALL, LIZ!!"

He throws a beer can, trying to look for another beer in the fridge.

"Listen...Chris and I didn't want to tell anyone until after warped because we didn't want to be a distraction from the band, the kiss was a surprise for me too, I didn't know he was going to do that, I didn't mean for anyone getting hurt...I'm sorry..."

"You could've at least told me that you weren't interested, I would've been over it, ya know? Now, it's going to take me a while to get over it,"

"I couldn't tell you that..."

"Why not?"

I wanted to tell him because I really was falling for him, but on the other hand I still have feelings for Chris. I guess you cab say I'm in a love triangle. Sounds like a cliche but it's true. I do think about Ricky a lot, and I'm super happy with Chris.

"I said, why not?" he repeated as he gulps down a beer.

"Because I have feelings for you too! I don't know if they're just a little crush feeling or if it's the real deal, but I do like you, a lot. I feel so different around you, like a good different. And it's the same with Chris. But when you kissed me that night...I liked it...which was why I ran off because I didn't want to like it, but I did,"

He slowly moves the can away from his mouth, and stares at the floor, then back up at me. He slowly walks to me and sets one of his hands on the side of my face,

"so...you love me...and chris is what I'm hearing?"

I gulped and nodded. He sighed and nodded his head.

"Two people can't share the same heart, only one can keep it safe and protected, and love it. Who's that person? Me? Or Chris?"

I sighed and just stared into his eyes, as he does the same. He runs his thumb across my lip then slowly leans in and pecks my lip. Then he sighs.

"What am I doing? You're dating my best friend, your kiss is toxic, Elizabeth...fuck it..."

He leans in and kisses me again. I was hesitant about this and slowly kissed back, feeling thousands of butterflies, a chilling spine tingling feeling, goose bumps, and my cheeks heated up from blushing. I break the kiss, and he immediately nodded, knowing that we shouldn't do this. I apologize and he does the same as he lies in his bunk, putting on his head phones. All the guys comes on the bus and bum rush me into a hug.

"I knew something was up between you and Chris!" Ghost said as he hugs me.

"You two are too cute together," Balz says as he reaches for a cold beer.

Ryan nudges me, smirking and heads to the back of the bus into the bathroom. Chris couldn't stop smiling non stop, I felt like a terrible person all over again. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but I made sure they didn't trickle down my face. Chris brought me into a big hug and kissed my forehead, still smiling.

"I promise once we get home, we'll do something special together," he whispers, as he presses his lips against my cheek. I stared back at Ricky, he just rolls his eyes and scoffs to himself, strumming on his guitar.

Chris and Ryan headed to the front of the bus and started it, we headed to the hotel to get our stuff, and then hit the road to go home.

After doing so, Devin asked me to draw a couple of pictures of him. I drew various of pictures of him, and he loved them all, and posted them on Twitter and Instagram, captioning it "This girl is mad talented at what she does! She draws, plays the guitar! I wonder what else can she do? Not to mention she's dating my buddy, @Chrismotionless :)" I sighed quietly.

Hours into the trip, everyone was asleep, except Chris and I, Chris was still driving. His eyes looked red and puffy and his eyes kept slowly closing and opening, he was tired, and so was I.

"Let's just stop somewhere, and get some rest, then we can leave in the morning," I suggested.

Chris yawned and nodded his head in agreement.  He parked the bus in a empty parking lot and headed for his bunk, dragging me along.

"sleep with me," he says, yawning.

"No, I cant, there's not enough space for us,"

"You can sleep on top of me, lay your head on my chest, please, we barely got to do much together,"

He holds my hands, giving me the most adorable puppy eyes. I finally gave in, and climbed in after him. I lied on his chest, he begins to stroke my hair.

"I can't wait until we get home, I have the day planned out for us, it's going to be perfect, just the two of us," he says, still stroking my hair.

"First off, we're going to relax, right after we get home. And then, we're going to eat dinner, play some hockey on the Xbox, watch a couple of movies, and cuddle until we fall asleep. Then the next day, is going to be a surprise for you," he added. I sighed and listened to his heartbeat.

"I love you..." he says.

I love you too," I said as I listen to his heartbeat. I begin to think about the whole love triangle thing. Ricky is heart broken because of me, and I'm torn between him and Chris. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I do know that I need to tell Chris about this. He needs to know. I can't keep this from him any longer. Just as I snap back to reality, I could hear Chris snoring along with the guys. A tear falls from my eye to Chris's shirt. More came down, luckily he didn't feel the tears seeping through his shirt. I eventually fell asleep, and dreamt, which was something I rarely do  when I sleep. I dreamt that I was in an abandoned house running down the hall, except everything was in slow motion. I could hear distant screaming and cursing.

"Chris?! Ricky?! " I screamed out.

The screaming and cursing continued, along with some glass smashing to the floor. I finally reach a door and push it open. There was Chris and Ricky, in the big empty dark room, arguing. Chris got in Ricky's face, and screamed even louder. He grabbed Ricky by his collar and pulled him in and then pushed him and pulled him again, they continued to curse at each other. I could feel my heart drop, tears falling down my face, I shook my head, screaming no. I beg for him to stop. I tried to move, but my feet wouldn't move.

"YOU FUCKING STAY AWAY FROM HER!!" Chris yells in Ricky's face.

"NO, FUCK YOU, SHE BELONGS WITH ME!!" Ricky yells back.

Chris punches Ricky in his chest, blood gushing everywhere- the walls, floor, ceiling, their face and clothes, even on me. Chris ripped out Ricky's heart and dropped him to the floor. He walks to me, still holding his heart and says

"YOU WANT HIS FUCKING HEART THEN HERE IT IS!!!"

I was immediately awakened by something freezing cold.