Behind Closed Doors ( Chris Motionless)

Chapter 4: I'll be fine...

I was having a blast! I felt like I was fitting in with everyone else at the concert, screaming and singing along, my voice got raspy eventually but it was worth it. After the show, Chris spotted me and winked at me, he walked to one of the guards and told him something that made the gaurd look at me in confusion. Whatever that's supposed to mean. The band walked to the back of the stage as the arena clears out. I got nervous as I think about meeting the band, so I went outside for a little bit to smoke. I took my last puff before the guard escorted me to the back. As we walked closer and closer to the doors, my nerves went haywire, the guard knocked on the band's dressing room door.

Chris swung the door open with a huge smile, I smiled back and waved excitedly. Chris brought me into a big hug, it kinda hurt due to the fact I still had scars on my arms but you could barely see them sense they were healing. I wish I brought my jacket, but it was in the washer. Chris let me in and closed the door, the guys were sitting and smiling at me, I just smiled and kept saying oh my god.

Chris put his arm around me, and introduced me to the band.

" Ricky, Devin, Ryan, Josh, this is my new friend I met today, her names Elizabeth,"

"Just call me Liz, it's great meeting all of you, your show was awesome,"

Ricky smiled and patted the empty seat next to him, I sat down.

"Well, Chris, I may be getting jealous, your friend here is gorgeous," Devin said. They all smirked and nodded their head in agreement.  Ryan looked down at my wrists and saw the bracelets, his jaw dropped.

"You sure do wear a lot of bracelets,"

Chris looked in the same direction, and raised an eyebrow.

"were you wearing those earlier? I don't remember seeing you wearing those,"

"umm...yeah. You couldn't see them because I had on my jacket and my sleeves are really long," I lied. I hat lying, it makes me feel like a bad person, which made me feel even worse considering I was lying to my idols. They looked convinced, so I just put my head down, staring at my hands.

"Wait a minute....do you cut?" Asked Balz. I shot my head up, looking him in the eyes, they were all focused on my arms, I scolded myself for not wearing anything with sleeves, I don't know why I didn't. Chris looked concerned, I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I knew I couldn't lie, but I couldn't tell them what I do to myself. I had to think of something quick.

" I think I should be going, it was awesome meeting you all,"

As I head out the door and made it outside, Chris ran towards me, and stopped me. He looked in my red, puffy eyes, then down my arms.

"Take off the bracelets,"

"What? No!"

"Take them off...please."

I looked up at him, I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I took off bracelet, by bracelet. I hated the fact someone actually noticed my cuts, no one ever noticed. Not even school, because I'm always wearing a jacket. When I took off my last bracelet, Chris scanned my skin. His cold hands touched my marks, he then took my bracelets and threw them.

"Hey!"

I tried running for them, but Chris grabbed me, and held my hands tight.

"why do you do this to yourself? Your skin is beautiful!"

"Don't worry about it,"

"You're hurting yourself,"

"I have my reasons...I have to go, please let me go,"

"No matter the reason, you shouldn't have to hurt yourself because of it, there's no good reason to cut, or self harm!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!! YOU DON'T FEEL WHAT I FEEL!! I AM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, I'M A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A DAUGHTER! I'VE BEEN TOLD! I AM A NO ONE!! AND I'M GONNA KEEP BEING A NO ONE AS LONG AS I LIVE, BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYONE!!! I HAVE NO ONE ANYMORE, I'M SHIT OKAY?!"

Chris's expression stiffened, my face was wet from all the tears flowing down my face, he slowly let go of my hands. He looked at me as if I had hurt his feelings.

"I'll be fine..."

I ran after that hoping that Chris wouldn't follow me. The walk back home seemed as if it took forever to get their, but it was only because I was walking slow, when I got home, my legs got weak, and my heart stopped beating. I forgot to have dinner ready for Dean, he would be extremely upset if I didn't have dinner ready. He doesn't do anything around the house, he hasn't picked up one dish or cooked one meal. He believes women belongs in the kitchen and should do all the cleaning. I noticed Dean in his recliner, but he was asleep. I tip toed past him and hurried to my room, as soon as I approached my door, I felt my hair being pulled back, making me fall backwards.

"Where were you?! You thought you were gonna get by that easily?! why didn't cook dinner?! I was starving!!"

"I'm, I'm sorry, Dean, I went to the library to study and got caught up in the books!"

Dean let go of my hair and kicked me in my stomach, I groaned in pain, clutching my stomach.

" I'm tired of seeing your face, you make me sick! If you died tonight, no one would miss you, you're not good at anything!"

I threw one hard punch into my face, and spat on me. I got up and ran in my room, and searched for what I needed, and told myself, "I'll be fine..."