Therapy || l.t.

Chapter 3: Staying

Chapter 3: Staying

“I didn’t leave that night,” I tell the therapy group.

“Why didn’t you leave, love?” Mrs. Lowell asks me. The whole group’s eyes are on me, practically begging to know too. It’s not too often they hear an abuse story so I understand why they are all watching me. It makes sense, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Attention fucking sucks. The only attention I’ve ever wanted was from him and I still only want it from him.

“I saw myself in him,” I reply honestly. I just remember the sadness in his eyes, the way that they mimicked mine. I didn’t know then why they were that way, but it was a tragic thing to have happened to somebody so amazing.

“What makes you say that?” Calford asks, obviously not too interested in my story. He’s probably just worrying about his problems, not caring to listen to mine. Well, fuck him too.

“You can’t see true sadness until you’ve lived through it,” I whisper, hoping that the group didn’t hear me. Why am I being shy now?

“What happened that night then, Jayden?” Mrs. Lowell presses. I just shake my head, remembering.

~

The surprise on his face is quite evident when I sit back down. I just smile and look down as our food is brought to us. I’m still panicked, not quite sure that I can get away with my face like this in public, but I don’t have anywhere to go right now. This Louis guy is my ride and I have no idea where I am. It’s not really a comforting thought either.

“Okay,” I say, trying to look anywhere but at him. I’m quite embarrassed over my face, but I know that I can’t just leave him alone here. He’s taking care of me, a random stranger even though I didn’t ask for it. He’s obviously a good guy, but I know that Blake will get the wrong impression if he saw us.

“Sorry if I stepped on some toes,” he apologizes and I gain even more respect for this unusual bloke. Aren’t all boys’ assholes? Why isn’t this one? He’ll probably change though, Blake did.

“It’s alright,” I respond, the tension between us rising. Neither of us know what to say and it’s an uncomfortable silence, one that makes me want to run away. It lets my mind fill with more thoughts of Blake and I just become more worried. I’ll have to wait until the morning to see him again. He locks the doors at midnight at the latest, sometimes earlier. I’ve knocked on it afterwards a few times and he wouldn’t let me in, leaving me to sleep in the hallway. He says it’ll help me learn to be home on time. He’s right.

“Here you guys go,” the lovely old woman from earlier says, disrupting my thoughts as she sets down our meals. I notice that Louis has a cheeseburger and chili-fries on a separate plate. My plate is small, holding my grilled-cheese and my small fry. My mouth waters at the sight. Slowly, I take a bite of the sandwich and my mouth explodes in to a wonderful orgasm of flavor. I don’t think I’ve had anything this tasteful in a long while. I must give my condolences to the chef.

“I see you’re enjoying it,” Louis smiles from across me. I just nod my head, eating some more as he takes a bite of his burger, watching me. Normally, I would complain or feel uncomfortable, but his stare isn’t bothering me. It’s nice in a sense because nobody has looked at me quite the way that he is in a long while.

“I kind of am,” I say, nearly panicking. What if Blake saw me? He wouldn’t be reacting quite the way that Louis is…the way that Louis should be acting. Why isn’t he angry with me?

“Well, I’m glad,” he replies, taking another bite of his burger that he’s barely touched. It makes sense that he’s hardly eaten it because he’s been watching me in awe. It doesn’t make sense since there’s nothing special about me. Blake tells me that all the time.