Therapy || l.t.

Chapter 16: Picture

Chapter 16: Picture

"After hour upon hour of arguing, we finally worked through some things I suppose. We were both going to try and work on everything, but that night was one of the happiest of my life," I smile.

"Okay, so what the fuck went wrong if all these bad situations turned out amazing per say?" Calford asks and again I am annoyed as fuck. Maybe I am as pathetic as everyone makes me out to be?

"Calford! She has sat and listened to your story without criticism every meeting and she's finally opening up to us. Why can't you show her the same respect?" Ms. Lowell defends me and I have to admit that I am surprised. Maybe she doesn't have as cool of a composure as I thought she did.

"Fine. Sorry Jayden. Please continue," he tells me though I can't really tell if the gesture was sarcastic or not. At this point, I don't care.

~

Fuck.

No. This can't be happening. No no no no no!

I remember staring down at the plus sign and throwing up. Louis and I had always been careful so I never thought this would be a possibility. Once I started having symptoms though, I took a test and once it screamed positive at me I made an appointment with my doctor.

"Miss Cortez? Are you okay?" Doctor Howard asks me. I nod, but I know that I'm not. This could potentially ruin my relationship with Louis, something that has been going on for nearly a year now though I've lived with him six months prior to the relationship that has occurred between him and I.

"How long have I been pregnant?" I ask my doctor.

"Well as far as we can tell you can't be along farther than three months," he tells me. Oh wow. Three months? How did this happen?

"Is there any way to be sure?" I ask him still not believing what's happening.

"Well, I'm pretty positive of the timeline, but if you want further confirmation then we could always do an ultrasound," the doctor tells me. I nod to him, wanting as much proof as I can get.

Normally, I would be really excited to find out that I am pregnant. I've always wanted to have a child of my own. I've never thought that I would end up pregnant. That hope evacuated my head while I was with Blake. Lately though, those thoughts have started to return to me, but I'm not sure that those thoughts are okay. I know Louis is still really messed up over Nina and his would've been son. He's still grieving and I'm afraid of how he'll react. I know that he is still probably so afraid that what happened will repeat itself with me. I'm afraid as well. I don't want Louis to change on me. I don't want this pregnancy to be triggering for him.

"Okay Miss Cortez. This here is Nurse Joy and she'll be assisting me. Can you lay down on your back for us?" the doctor asks me as a girl with blonde hair begins to start up a machine that I assume will be taking the ultra sound. I do a
s he says and lie down, lifting up my shirt to reveal my stomach. I look at it as well, wanting to see if I can notice a bulge already and I think I can see one, but I know that I'm probably just seeing things.

"Alright, so this gel is going to be pretty cold. We keep it that way for accurate pictures," the nurse smiles at me. I smile at her as well and nod my head to let her know that I understand. She puts on some gloves and squirts a small amount of the gel my stomach causing me to gasp even though I was warned. She's obviously used to the reaction so she doesn't point it out.

"Okay, We're going to rub this in circles on your stomach. It will not harm the embryo and it is completely safe. It will project on to this screen what your child looks like," the doctor tells me with a grin. Why are they so cheery? I breathe a barley audible okay as they put the machine on me, rubbing it in circles as they told me they would. I watch the screen wishing that Louis or maybe even my sister was here with me even though we're still working through things. I don't want to go through this alone.

"You see that little peanut shape right there? That's your baby. It looks like she or he already has fingers and toes. I think that's a sure indication that the baby is you're about ten weeks along in the pregnancy. I don't notice anything wrong with the child. I'm expecting a happy and healthy pregnancy," Doctor Howard tells me with a smile. He's probably excited for me as well as the nurse, but I still can't decide how to feel.

"Well I guess I better tell the father now," I smile though I feel like I'm falling apart.

"If you need any help because I'm assuming this is your first pregnancy, we do offer some classes here that'll tell you your options, make sure you have a healthy pregnancy, and prepare you for labor," the nurse tells me as she holds a pamphlet in her hands.

"I might look in to it. Is there any way I can get photos of the ultrasound?" I question. Whether Louis wants me to have the child or not, I still want proof of the baby's existence.

"Of course Miss Cortez. I'll print them off for you right now," Nurse Joy tells me before rushing out of the room that we're in to get the copies.

"You can sit up now since I've cleaned your stomach. Once Joy returns with those photos you're free to go," the doctor tells me and I nod as he smiles and exits the room. I spend the time collecting my thoughts, but the nurse returns unusually quick.

"Here you go ma'am," the nurse says handing me some photos. I nearly cry at the images of the human growing inside of me. She wishes me luck and leaves, me doing the same. I then go outside where my sister is waiting for me in Zayn's car, one I've come to learn she despises. She doesn't find it stable enough yet she's still in it. I don't say anything to her once I'm in the car. I don't want to talk to anyone, but Louis. This is something that I believe should stay between the parents until we know what we're going to do.

"Thanks," I smile as she pulls up outside my building.

"You want to talk about what's bothering you?" she asks me as I'm about to climb out.

"I'd much rather talk to Louis about it first," I tell her as kind as I can be. She nods, knowing that we still aren't on the best of terms. We're just barely getting back to normal, but niether of us are pushing it. 

"See you around," I tell her as I get out. She sends me a simple goodbye and I head upstairs to the door where Louis is surely waiting behind for me. Taking a deep breath, I turn the knob and sure enough Louis is pacing back and forth waiting for me. 

"Jayden! How was the doctor's? Did they figure out why you've been so sick?" Louis rushes over to me once he sees that I'm inside. I smile at him, not sure how this is going to go, but I know that I can't avoid this. Hiding things big like this could ruin many things, stuff I've learned from the novels I read. 

"They did," I tell him as he wraps his arms around me. I return the gesture, holding him tighter than I normally do as a greeting.

"Is it something bad?" Louis asks when he pulls away from me. He must've noticed.

"I think we should sit down," I tell him because I know that surely if I don't, I'll pass out. He nods and we walk over to the couches and take a seat. Messing with the envelope in my hand, I decide to hand it to him. He looks confused, but when he opens it and sees the photos of the ultrasound, his eyes widen. 

"I'm ten weeks along," I whisper. I don't say anything else. I want to know how Louis feels about this. I want to know what he's thinking. I bet Nina is running through his mind, as well as his little boy. I don't know what I'd be thinking if I was in his position. I can't imagine what he's going through. 

"Ten weeks?" Louis asks me and I finally decide to look at him. He has a smile on his face and tears are rolling down his cheeks. Is he okay? What is he thinking?

"Yeah. The baby already has little toes and fingers," I smile back at him.

"You mean that I have a second chance to be a dad again?" he asks me with a smile still on his face. 

"You mean you're not mad?" 

"Mad? Why in bloody hell would I be mad? I may be scared shitless, but I'm not mad. I'm happy, so happy Jayden. You've given me a second chance at life and now we're having a baby together. We're going to be parents. Oh baby I love you," Louis says as he wraps his arms around me and kisses me. I laugh in to the kiss, never wanting this moment to end. Louis pulls away and he can't stop looking at the photo. I lean in to him and we just sit there, looking at our child. 

We can do this. 

I'm going to be a mum and Louis has another chance to be a dad.