Therapy || l.t.

Chapter 11: Moving Out

A/N: this is a shorter story since Jayden is telling it to her group. Its going to seem a bit put in to fast forward right here

Chapter 11: Moving Out

"Things kind of just progressed after that," I shrugged, not sure if I want to explain what happened. I'm just barely starting to get over it; reliving it all would hurt a lot. Remembering the good times makes what happened even worse. How could he betray me like that? Even what Blake did to me wasn't as bad.

Blake might have loved me in the past. He might also have been playing me the whole time. It was always up in the air with him.

With Louis though, I never doubted a single thing. He treated me like I truly mattered. He showed me what it was like to actually have a functional relationship. I felt truly loved. I felt like I had rights. After awhile, I was never worried he'd hit me. He always protected me, never scared me. It was the best feeling and I crave it more and more every day.

"What do you mean?" Ms. Lowell asks me.

"Well, I helped him a lot. I got a job at the diner he took me to on the night we meet. We continued playing board games and watching Family Guy. We cooked and talked. I loved talking to him. I felt like I knew him in a way no one else did, ya know? We became such good friends, but I know I couldn't stay there forever. He probably missed his bed and privacy. So, one day after I was fully healed from my accident months later, I tried to move out," I tell them.

"Let me guess, you moved out and you missed him so much and that's why you're here?" Calford smugly remarks.

"Close, but not exactly. That didn't happen quite yet," I tell him.

"What happened when you tried the first time then?" Jillian asks. She's a hopeless romantic and I hope her girlfriend is treating her well. She's the only person I can stand in this hell hole.

"He didn't like the idea," I smile, but pain ceases me once again.

~

"So, I think I found a place," I smile excitedly. I don't want to move out since I've grown fond of this lad in front of me. I know he's probably sick of me so I'm taking it as an advantage to gain my independence.

"Really? Where at?" He asks me. His eyebrow is perked as he's obviously surprised.

"Down on Jefferson avenue. It's small, but it's affordable," I tell him.

"I don't like that neighborhood," he tells me, moving closer to where I'm standing. My heart beat is picking up. Louis hasn't been one to show much affection, but lately he's been giving me hugs and gripping my shoulders, little things like that. It's not awkward like it was originally when we were just strangers sharing life stories. We've lived together for maybe four months now, we know each other pretty well.

"It's really well kept, is pet and children friendly. A lot of friendly people live there too," I argue. He always seems to find something wrong with the place I want to move to, but this time nothing is wrong with the place. He's just being uncooperative.

"People there are too stubborn," he frowns, still living closer to me. I start to back up, not sure if I want him close.

"Exactly. I'll fit right in," I smirk. He scoffs, but I notice the smile trying to creep its way on to his face.

"I still don't like it," he states. I'm backed against the isle now with no where to go. He has both of his arms gripping the polished marble, leaving me trapped between his arms.

"What's wrong with it now?" I ask him.

"You're not close enough to me," is his short response.

My body tenses at this. Normally, I should've taken this jokingly, but the look on his face tells me otherwise. It's one that I can't describe. All I know is I feel the intensity of his gaze. I'm having a hard time catching my breath now though I'm not sure why.

"And how close do I need to be?" I ask, trying to play it cool but my voice betrays me.

"Here with me," he responds. I feel his hand reach up to cup my cheek. When did this happen? I know what's coming and for some reason I know that I don't want it to stop. I want this.

His face is moving closer to mine. My breath is hitched and I can tell he's nervous as well. It's almost as if he's questioning whether it's okay.

"Is that so?" I respond, finding my face moving closer to his as well. He takes this as his permission, closing the gap between us.

His lips are chapped, slowly becoming more smooth as mine interact with his. Our lips move together creating the perfect balance between the moon and sun. I feel as if I'm watching an eclipse but don't need glasses to see the beauty it beholds. It's almost like a warm New Years Eve, something rare in our town of London. It's like being in the eye of a hurricane, our lives are falling apart but we still found peace.

He pulls away from me, obviously only testing the waters, something we've both been guilty of since day one. I stare at him in a breathless, heated up state. I want more of him.

His kiss was sweet, something I wish my actual first kiss was like. I felt cared for and loved, though I know the later wouldn't be possible with him.

Then again, I thought I'd never find myself kissing him.

"That's why. Was that okay?" He asks a little frazzled himself. I wonder how long it has been since he's been even slightly intimate with someone?

"Is that why you don't want me to leave?" I ask. He nods, a slight blush rising to his cheeks though he'd never admit it.

"What does this mean?" I ask him. I haven't been in such a situation for so long, Blake would have never allowed it.  How should I feel? Do I have feelings for this man in front of me?

I can't seem to find myself saying I don't. Everything is telling me that I should run away; I shouldn't trust a man again. A more rational part of me though knows I've cared for him for awhile. I enjoy every second spent with him. I hate when he goes to work. I like laughing with him. I like that he takes care of me, but allows me independence. He makes me happy, genuinely happy.

"I have feelings for you Jayden. I didn't realize it until you got serious about moving out. I found myself getting either depressed or angry whenever you'd bring it up. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I know I'm not over Nina but I also know you're not over Blake. We're fucked up, but we're moving on. Together, we've been healing. You've become my motivation and honestly, it terrifies me. I don't know when it happened, but I don't want it to stop," he admits. I can tell he felt awkward with his words, but I know where he's coming from. I felt everything he said deep in my core and somehow, I knew he was right because I feel it too.

"I know how you feel," I respond. I take another step towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms wrap around my waist, bringing me closer to him. What is happening right now isn't love, it's attraction that was unpredictable yet bound to happen.

"I don't know what to say now," Louis admits.

"Then don't say anything," I reply before pressing my lips to his again. He pulls my body tighter so he can attempt to feel every bit of me. My grip around his neck becomes a little more tight as I want him close. I don't want distance between us.

His tongue begins to slide across my bottom lip, teasing me. That's when I move to bite his lower lip gently, earning a moan that escapes from the back of his throat. I jump up on to the counter, using my legs to wrap around his waist, bringing me to his middle. He uses my temporary distraction to slip his tongue in to my mouth. It's almost as if a huge weight has been lifted from me.

My hands begin to start roaming his body and that's when I know it's enough. I don't want to take things too far. I slowly make the kiss become less passionate, giving him a few pecks before resting my head on his shoulder. He just holds me, resting his head on mine too.

What have I just gotten myself in to?