Sad Supernatural Imagines

#101 Dean - You're Beautiful

•Edited•

Y/N p.o.v:

You stared at your reflection in the mirror and poked at your body. You were more on the thicker side than most girls. You liked Dean for quite some time now and it killed you inside because you knew you were never going to be anything more than a friend to him. You knew he didn't like big girls. You knew he liked skinny blonde tramps, he liked whores with caked faces. You sighed as you walked out of your room to the living room. Sam was in there and he knew how to cheer you up when you got like this. He'd take you out on trips or you would stay in and watch Netflix to clear your mind. Things that would bore Dean. Things that he didn't like other girls doing. You trudged into the living room sadly. Tears started to weld up as you thought more and more about how you weren't enough for anyone.
"Sammy... Why can't I be like other girls? Why can't I be perfect? Why can't I have blonde hair with an hourglass-shaped body that's skinny like a twig? Why can't I have flawless skin and perfect teeth?" You whispered. Tears fell down your freckled cheeks. Sam ran to you in a hurry to get you calmed down.
"Sam, why can't I be good enough?" You cried into his arms. Things were really bad when you started to cry, which wasn't very often. He placed a kissed the top of your head before speaking.
"Shh, Y/N. Come here, it's okay. Hey, you are good enough. Please don't ever say those things about yourself ever again. If no guy can accept you for you: you with your curves and perfect imperfections, then I'll be that guy. Not in the way you might want, but I can be just as good." He said. He was trying to get you to laugh a little. You calmed down a bit with a small smile.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like an emotional teenage girl." You said. You sniffled a little right when Dean walked in. He walked towards you with a concerned look.
"Hey...I heard you crying from the library. Are you alright?" He asked. You tensed up a little and wiped your tears away.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." You said. You didn't see it but he shrugged and then walked away. You heard his footsteps descend and it made you sad. You sighed and then removed yourself from Sam's arms.
"I'll be in my room if you need me." You whispered and then walked away trudging to your room slowly.

~months passed~

You faked a smile as Dean walked into the living room. You were watching TV to get your mind off of things.
"Hey, Y/N. Watcha watching?" He asked as he plopped down beside you. You shrugged. You didn't really know what you were watching. You hadn't been paying attention to the TV despite wanting to keep your mind from going to dark places.
"Well, I noticed that you haven't been eating much. Are you alright?" He asked. You just nodded.
"I haven't been very hungry. Sorry for worrying you." You responded. The conversation ended there. As more months passed by, you got sicker and sicker. You got more depressed. You couldn't find the energy to even get out of bed. You slept all day and all night. Refusing to eat didn't help either. It caused you to hardly be able to even get up to use the bathroom. Sam was really worried; everyday he tried to convince you to go to the doctor. One day he finally had enough though. Sam barged into your dark room and turned on the light. You didn't say anything. You didn't flinch at the sudden change in brightness.
"Y/N, I'm done. I can't stand this any longer. I'm taking you to the hospital." He said. You didn't say anything for a few seconds. Your choices were clear; cooperate or he makes you go. Either way, you're going.
"Okay." You whispered. You could hear him sigh in relief. He was glad you decided to not argue.
"You'll be okay soon, Y/N." Sam said. You nodded and slowly stood up to go put on a shirt. You were only in a sports bra and shorts. Not the worst thing Sam has seen. Sam gasped at the sight of you.
"Y/N..." He whispered. You didn't say anything. You looked down at yourself. Your ribs were protruding from your stomach and your skin was pale. Your thighs no longer touched each other. Your body was living on only your body fat and it was obvious you didn't have much left. You walked a little bit towards your dresser before stumbling. You had barely any energy left now.
"Just take my flannel, Y/N. I'll carry you." He said. You didn't object. You were malnourished, you were weak. Sam gave you his flannel and picked you up. He sucked in a sharp breath, the lightness of you making Sam feel horrible for not trying harder to help you.
"You're so light.." Sam said softly. You felt so tired and dizzy. He walked into the library where Dean was. He was sitting on the couch reading some of the old books. Probably researching for a hunt.
"I'm taking Y/N to the hospital. You should come." Sam said. Dean looked up and gasped as he saw the state you were in. He hadn't realized how bad you had gotten. He just nodded and soon enough you guys were on your way to the hospital. Once you got there you were immediately taken to a room. They had to put a feeding tube into your stomach because you couldn't swallow anything. Maybe a part of you was scared of gaining any weight. This was the one thing you could control in your life. Dean stayed with you while Sam talked to the doctors about you. You heard sniffling and looked over at Dean. He had his head in his hands and his whole frame was shaking.
"Why? Why would you do this to yourself, Y/N?" He asked. When his voice broke, your heart shattered. You sighed.
"I wanted you to love me. I wanted to be enough for you. You like skinny, blonde bimbos. You like girls with giant boobs and big asses. You like girls with perfect skin and teeth. You liked girls that weren't me." You responded. Dean cried out, he was sobbing. The sight of him made your stomach clench. You could tell how much you hurting yourself hurt him. It cut deep.
"Dean? What's wrong?" You asked. You were worried. Dean grabbed your small hand and looked at you through teary eyes.
"Y/N, you were always good enough. I'm so sorry I didn't show it before, but I love you. Okay? I love you. I loved everything about you. I still do. I always will. The girls you described? I don't like those girls, Y/N. Those one night stands were because I thought I wasn't good enough. I thought I wasn't enough for you. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you weren't good enough for me. I'm sorry I made you hurt yourself. I'm so sorry." Dean cried. You pulled him closer to you. He didn't make you do anything. This was all on you. Should you have talked about this? Probably, yeah. Did you? No. This will be one hell of a fight, but seeing how this effects the ones around you, you'd get better. You can't give up now. Sam and Dean needed you and you needed them.
"Shh. Dean, stop. It's okay. I'm okay. I'll be fine. Please stop crying." You begged. Dean's sobs quieted as he looked at you. His eyes were bloodshot. Tears still rolled down his cheeks. He didn't say anything for a long time. He just stared at you while you wiped away his fallen tears.
"You're beautiful." He whispered. You looked away with a hot face. You didn't see it. You hated yourself, but self love will definitely be on the list of things you need to work on.
"Please don't leave me, Y/N. Promise you won't leave. Sam needs you. Cas needs you. I need you." Dean said. You looked back at him and kissed his forehead. You couldn't promise something like that.
"With this life, how can I promise something like that?" You whispered. Dean hesitated before responding. He knew you were right.
"Promise me that you'll always be mine then. Even if death separates us. Promise me that you won't leave me mentally and emotionally." He said. You nodded.
"I promise." You responded.

A/N:

Shit this was terrible. Sorry for how bad this turned out.