Sad Supernatural Imagines

#147 Dean - Losing Him

Y/N p.o.v:

Losing him was the hardest thing you ever thought you'd go through. It was unexpected to say the least. You and Dean thought and accepted that one of you or both would end up dying during a hunt or some end-of-the-world matter. However that didn't happen. Out of all things that could've killed him, it was as simple as a car wreck. You were with him when it happened. The news of it put you in shock for months even after the funeral. You would never forget that day when they told you.

You sat there in the hospital bed laughing with Sam. Dean hadn't woken up yet, but you believed he would. Sam sighed and took your hand into his.
"I'm so glad you're okay." He said. There was a knock on the door which caused you both to turn and Sam to remove his hand. The doctor came in and your heart sped up when you saw the solemn look on his face. You watched him take off his glasses and rub his eyes before speaking.
"There's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it. Your friend..." You didn't listen to the rest as there was only a ringing in your ears. You stared at the man in front of you with no expression at all. You didn't notice Sam yelling at the doctor to leave or him breaking down. You didn't notice him trying to get your attention. You were frozen, everything was frozen. Time seemed to just stop. He was gone? No. He wasn't gone. No, not Dean Winchester. The Winchester boys never die. There was no way. He'd be back surely. What if he doesn't come back? What will you do then?

Well, you did what anyone would do: survive. You survived until you felt you could live again. Don't for a second think it was easy though. Most people would've left after what you put your family through. After you were released from the hospital, the funeral was held shortly after. Of course, as Dean always wanted, you cremated him. It wasn't until almost six months had passed that it finally hit you that he was gone and wasn't going to come back. When it hit you, though, it hit hard; like a hurricane. You were angry. Angry at God, angry at yourself, angry at the world. You would pick fights often with Sam and Cas. But no matter how emotional you were, they never gave up on you. They were patient and believed you'd get through it. It was a painful time, especially when the one year hit. But they stayed. They held you and made sure you were eating and not drowning in alcohol or popping pills. It's been three years now and you found someone new. You quit hunting, which was actually suggested by both Sam and Cas. They were right in the end. It was just too painful. Although now you were able to accompany them on occasion. Even though you cremated Dean, you still made a grave for him. You even got Sam and Cas to help bury his ashes. It comforted you having a place to go especially if you wanted to go alone. You made a plan to go today with your daughter. This would be the first time she 'met' him. Your husband had work so he couldn't go with you for moral support. You shut the car door and then took your daughters small hand. You walked to his grave, tears already welling up. You crouched down to your daughters level with a small smile.
"This is Dean, sweetie. This was Mommy's first love." You said, your voice breaking slightly towards the end.  She looked at you with a confused look.
"I thought you loved Daddy though?" She asked. You laughed and nodded.
"I do love Daddy. But Dean... I loved him before Daddy. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him. He's the love of my life." You explained. She nodded slowly. You brought her closer to see his little picture.
"That's him. Say hi. Don't worry, he'll hear you." You said. She looked a little nervous so you decided to start speaking.
"Hi, Dean! Whew, it's been a while huh? How've you been? I hope you're having fun in heaven and that you're spending lots of time with your mom and dad. This is my daughter Emerald. Say hi, sis." You encouraged.
"Hi. Here's a flower." She said. You smiled as she placed the flower in the holder stuck in the ground.
"Remember how much you liked the name just because I did?" You asked him. You swore you could almost hear his answer. Tears fell down your face, but the smile never left it. Your daughter didn't say anything but did hug you. It made you cry more but that was okay.
"I really miss you, Dean. I wish you were still here." You said. You guys stayed there for a while. You talked to Dean, updating him on everything while you watched your daughter run around and pick whatever dandelions she could find to give to him. You only decided to leave when your husband called you to say he was home. You grabbed your daughter but not before saying goodbye.
"I'll be back soon, Dean. I promise." You said and walked back to your car. Losing him was the hardest thing you ever thought you'd go through, but you got through it in the end. And although it's still painful, you know there will be a day when you can walk up to his grave without shedding a tear. You will wait for that day and you were sure Dean would be too.

A/N:

I hope this makes you cry just as much as it made me cry.