Sad Supernatural Imagines

#152 Cas - Closure

Y/N p.o.v:

"That's why I left." He said. You stared at him, tears falling down your cheeks.
"Are you crying?" He asked. The call went silent for a few seconds before you could answer.
"No, I'm not." You said quietly. You guys talked a little longer until he had to go. You stared at the ceiling. Thoughts circled your head, faster and faster they went.
"I wasn't enough," you whispered to yourself. He promised to stay and try harder. You knew it was a lie.
As the days passed by his lie only became more and more prominent until a week had passed with barely any contact. Back to the usual then. You texted him to get confirmation so you wouldn't be stuck wondering again.
You: Lmao you're really failing on that whole promise thing, buddy.
Him: Okay, so the thing is: I don't think we should be talking anymore. I'm with someone and I don't want to start any arguments or anything, you feel me?
Feel him? That's hilarious.
You: Yeah, well, maybe you should've never promised, huh? Don't try and prove to be something you won't be...
You: Lmao you did good, man. I'll give you that. Really thought shit might be different. But you aren't someone who changes, and I probably need to start seeing that. You won't ever be a good person no matter how much I try and believe you are. You just fucking used me. Do you realize what you did?
You: So, no. I don't 'feel.' Be a man and end shit. You're just fucking her over too. Quit being a pussy, tell her you're ending shit (you're already a cheater lmfao), and leave. I regret everything with you, dude. And the thing is, you know. You know what it does to me and how much you hurt me. You aren't very sorry and it's clear. Don't message me again. Don't think of me again. Don't come here. You're a cheater, a liar, and you are the spitting image of your father. I hope you're proud, babe. Because I'm amazing. I did fine without you, and I can certainly live without you now. You were right about one thing: you don't need anyone. And I sure as hell never needed you.
You waited till he saw the messages and then blocked him. You ended up crying yourself to sleep that night and pretty much every night since. The closure you longed so much for made you realize you were better off without it. Knowing why he left before was worse than wondering why you weren't enough. Knowing you actually weren't hurt more. People always want closure. They want to know why, they want them to know how much they were hurt. They do know though. He knew. He just didn't care. His apologies and promises were always insincere, you were just too in love to see it. You sat by your window with the joint in hand. The thoughts never left and you could never make them quiet, no amount of drugs would make them go away. But it calmed you, helped you think through the feelings without getting too upset. This will take time. Time you wished it wouldn't take, but you can't stop from being hurt. It's a part of life and although it sucks, it teaches us. You learn to love again and you learn to heal. You learn to accept and you learn to be happy again. You were impatient, but you can't pick up the pace to healing and being happy. You needed to wait and feel everything you felt. You knew you needed to and that it was part of the process even if it was hard. You will get through this. You sucked in and took a big hit. You let it out with a small smile. You would be okay. You had Sam and Dean, but most importantly, you had yourself. You would always have yourself and that can be just enough sometimes. You didn't need the closure you got, knowing why he did what he did and knowing you weren't enough. You knowing hurt more than when you didn't. The next time someone hurts you, you shouldn't subject yourself to that because if you know, you could lose yourself completely. Take time and heal. You finished it and looked out the window at the sunset, a tear cascading down your cheek. And so the process of healing begins.