Sad Supernatural Imagines

#142 Sam - I Miss Him

Y/N p.o.v:

You opened your eyes, tears cascading down your face and soaking the pillow beneath your head. You closed your eyes again, memories of him flooding your mind.

You smiled as he kissed your hand softly before setting it back down in your lap. "You know I love you, right?" He asked with a soft, but slightly husky voice. You nodded and responded with a quiet yes.

You turned over, opening your eyes once again before sitting up. You didn't bother to wipe away your tears as you knew it wouldn't do any good. You got up and walked into your living room. You went over to your record player and played your favorite vinyl record. As it played quietly in the background, you grabbed a fuzzy blanket and sat down on your couch, wrapping yourself in the blanket. You sat there most of the day, blankly staring at the wall, the memories and thoughts consuming you.

"Please?" He pleaded for the third time after you had originally said no. You sighed and caved in. He smiled and lovingly kissed you. You lied back and let him do what he wanted.

You broke out in a sob. Every single memory of him touching you, caressing your skin, leaving love bites here and there. Tears now being the one's caressing your face.

"That's not okay, Y/N!" Dean said, slightly raising his voice. You sat there in the passenger seat quietly while he spoke to you. "He was only a little-" You were interrupted by him sighing loudly. "It was borderline rape. You know that right?" He asked. You didn't look up. He took another deep breath and didn't say anything else.

You realize now how wrong it was. You only said yes to get him to stop asking. You only said yes because your love for him clouded your judgment. You lied to yourself and everyone around you for months. You didn't want to be the girl who cried rape when you did technically consent. And when the word technically comes into play, you know you're in trouble. You didn't say yes to doing that. You said yes only to get it done and over with despite not wanting to. You loved him so you thought it was okay.

You could feel the anxiety creeping up on you. "Please, listen to me."  You said. He nodded and sat down silently, waiting for you to continue. "Could you please maybe tone it down a bit with the sexual stuff?" You asked. You watched him look down and then put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm being too pushy. I'm sorry. I'm a horrible boyfriend. I don't deserve you." He said softly. You went to his side and shook your head. "No, no. You're not horrible, you're perfect. I promise."  You said. You tried to comfort him as you started to feel bad.

You heard your door unlock and heavy boots walk in. You didn't look up at who it was because you already knew. "It's bad today." Sam said matter of factly. You nodded, your tears not stopping. He didn't say anything else, just went and changed only to come back and silently pick you up so he could bring you to bed. He set you down and then got in next to you. "I miss him...but I know he wasn't good for me and he took advantage of me." You whispered. Despite being with Sam, you were still scarred from your last relationship. But that didn't matter to him and even though he couldn't help, he was there and having his presence was enough to get you through. He held you tight, humming as an answer which was okay to you. It helped you understand it's okay to miss him as long as you always get through it without bringing him back into your life. You did nothing wrong and you had to accept that. And you did, but sone days were just harder to get through than others like today.

A/N:

Hey! A chapter is up. Crazy, right? Haha. Anyway, this is something I relate to a lot. Actually something very personal that happened. Remember that yes doesn't always mean yes. Especially if  the original answer was no.