Stay (MxM)

Stay With Me?

The tangled figures in the bed caught their breaths as they came down from the high. No words were exchanged. The taller of the two pulled the other to him and kissed his cheek. His eyes caressed the brown-haired man beneath him and his heart fluttered as the man smiled sleepily at him. He slowly pressed a kiss on the fluffy brown hair and untangled himself with regret.

He sighed. It doesn't have to be so. He knows that he should face it all and move on. He knows that he shouldn't come back. He should be aware of the consequences. But he can't stop himself from knocking this door, taking the smaller body in his arms and forgetting everything else about them and around them. When he started this, he already knew that this has to end one day and he was ready for that. Or he thought he was.

He takes the cigarette packet from the bedside table and puts on his shirt and boxer shorts. He runs his hand through his short black hair and sighs. And he tells the other man the inevitable "This should stop. This can't go on"

The smaller man looks at the other in shock. But he didn't know why he was shocked. It's not like the taller man is dedicated to him or owes him anything. Nothing except the few pounds he is entitled to for spending those hours with him. The taller man is just one amongst all those people to whom he offers himself for a few quids. Sometimes for an hour...sometimes for a day... sometimes for a night. People come and go- men and women. A few people stay..the taller man stayed. It's been a year since they first met and since then, his smaller body has found warmth and comfort in the arms of the black haired man who is now looking at him with regret and despair. And he realises why he is shocked- he cannot think of his life without the taller man beside him. Somewhere between talking and sleeping, he has fallen for the man before him. Fallen hard. But who is he to stop him from leaving? His customers come and go. They are not destined to stay with him forever. Like many times he has done to many people, he masks his pain and asks calmly "What happened, Ant?"

Ant: "My family.. Want me to get married. Business merging and all.. I..... I can't- I can't do this then, Dec. We can't continue this then"

Dec looks at the man before him and nods understandingly "Okay then..guess today is our last day together. You should have told me earlier. Would have made this more special for you"

Ant throws the unlit cigarette in the trash bin and sits on the bed beside Dec. Dec sits up with the covers pooled around him. Ant lifts his hand and slowly strokes his cheek

Ant: "Moments with you...are always special"

Dec smiles at that. This is why Ant is different. This is why he has fallen in love with him. He never makes Dec feel less or used. He treats him as if he is an important part of his life and respects him and his needs. No wonder Dec fell in love with him. But he won't say that to the taller man. Not only because of what Dec does. But also because of what Ant does. Because Dec knows that he is the CEO of one of the biggest enterprises in the city. There is no way he will accept someone like Dec. Moreover, no one will let him be with someone like Dec.

Dec was musing it all while Ant looks at him dreamily

Dec: "This was never destined to last was it? Let's stop it then"

Ant's voice was too low as he looks at Dec with tear filled eyes "I don't want to" he whispers

Dec's heart skips a beat. That was the last thing he has expected to come from Ant's mouth

Dec: "What?"

Ant: "I don't want to stop this...between us... I don't know how to- what to- I don't know what I will do without you... without what we have together...whatever it is..."

Dec's heart tugs as he sees Ant's pleading eyes. Whatever it is... and that's why it has to stop

Ant: "I want this to continue...but I can't cheat someone or I don't want to treat what we have as a side- you know what I mean right?"

Dec: "I...I do but..but what do you propose then? You know what we are, don't you"

Ant: "What are we?"

Dec bites his lips. It's hard for him to tell that.... Only because it's Ant and he is more to him

Dec: "My customer?"

Ant sighs "Do you... Do you want to be my boyfriend, Dec?"

Dec's eyes snap at Ant's "What?!"

Ant: "I can't find any other ways to keep you in my life... Will you be my boyfriend? So that they will all think we are together and I will still have you with me?"

Dec: "You don't mean that and you don't want that. Think about this later and-"

Ant: "Been thinking about this for months. I want you with me, Dec"

Dec: "You know what I do for a living don't you?!!!"

Ant: "You don't have to. I will give you a part of my shares and you can be my partner.We will be together, Dec....please"

Dec's heart tugs at Ant's desperation. But he was in shock. This is all he wanted...to be with Ant... And he has to lose nothing here. He will only gain...and most importantly he won't lose Ant.

Ant: "Please Dec... "

Dec: "I am no businessman Ant...and what if this is a moment's thought? What if you will realise this is a bad idea and leave me? "

Ant: "I won't. I always come back, don't I? Why do you think I do that? Why am I a regular here? Do you think it's only for...for that?! Dec, I can't live without this in my life now...live without you in my life now"

Dec: "We can still be friends"

Ant: "No we can't. Not if I get married and not if we have this difference between us. And I can't be with you if I am committed to someone else. That's not fair on them but most importantly that's not fair on you. That's why I am asking you. Please, come with me?"

Dec laughs "Not the first time you asked me that...but...give me some time? To think?"

Ant: "Okay. But just know that my life depends on your decision"

Dec looks at Ant and his heart clenches as he sees Ant's eyes filling up. He slowly leans in
and kisses Ant

Dec: "You are just one of my customers, Ant"

Ant looks at him pleadingly "No. We both know that that's not true. We both know that this is different"

Dec: "I don't know what to say"

Ant: "Don't say anything...just stay close to me..."

Dec leans into Ant's chest, who holds him close not wanting to leave him ever. Because Ant was damn honest when he said that he cannot live without Dec near him. He didn't know what he feels for the smaller man but it's definitely something he wants to feel forever.

Ant: "Stay like this with me, Dec.... always?"

Dec's heart flutters in his chest Maybe...maybe this isn't a bad idea after all. I have been through the worst. And is there anyone else in my life I trust more than Ant?

Dec: "I will......"