Stay (MxM)

I am not Alone

Ant: "If I wasn't with you, in your life...if we hadn't ever met...would you take Justine's offer?"

Dec: "Yes"

Ant's heart skips a beat at that, not knowing what to make of that answer, while Dec continued:

"I would have loved him but that's just it... I told you,  he doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself. And I will be a fool to believe that everything he does is out of love for me because it clearly wouldn't be. He wouldn't step out of his comfort zone for anyone... he never did that for me anyways. He would never love me like you do, Ant...nobody will..."

Ant's heart somersaults inside his chest noticing how Dec used "do" and not "did"

Ant: "And I always will..."

Dec: "I wish you didn't. We cannot be together, Ant. We are too different"

Tears sting both their eyes at that while Ant slowly rotated the ring around his finger.

Ant: "We can,  Declan... and I am ready to wait until you realize that"

Dec bites his lips at that and closes his eyes, wanting to escape the reality at least for a few moments.

Dec: "Goodnight, Anth..."

Ant: "Goodnight, baby..."

Dec didn't feel the need to correct him, this time.

-----------------------

The sun had just come up the next day when Dec found himself in front of his dad's room, debating whether to knock or not. Finally he knocks and a small "come in" is heard from inside, forcing him to push the door open and enter.

He enters hesitant and his heart tugs as he saw a surprised smile on his dad's face: "Deccey..."

Dec: "Da-d..."

Alph: "Come in, sit here" he asks delighted.

Dec nods and sits beside him on the bed, his mind suddenly becoming blank and searching for right words to speak.

Alph: "Are you alright? You are up early and knowing you, that's something quite remarkable"

Dec: "You didn't sleep at all?"

Alph: "Not sure I can, to be honest..."

Dec: "You need it,  you know..."

Alph: "I know..."

Dec: "Dad...about yesterday..."

Alph: "Yes, about yesterday... I am sorry you had to face all that"

Dec: "Wh-at?"

Alph: "With your uncle and then my condition-"

Dec: "No that's- that's not what I meant... the way I reacted to you yesterday, when I knew about the surgery..."

Alph: "Oh that, your reaction was understandable. I know you were hurt as it seemed like we were all hiding something big from you. But we didn't hide anything Deccey, you already knee my time is up-"

Dec: "Don't say that! There must be some way, Ant said he will be contacting doctors from London, or somewhere else, the States, for instance or anywhere- I-"