Stay (MxM)

His Future 🛑🛑

Heyy....thank you so much for all your support and sorry for the delay in updating. One would think that lockdown will lend us more time to write but that cannot be farther from the truth.

This chapter contains mature scenes and I have given warnings indicating the start and end of those. I apologise in advance if it feels a bit rushed or stale, but I have tried the best I could.

Song given in this chapter is "If Our Love is Wrong" by Callum Scott

**********

The night was falling upon the hill but Ant didn't want it to end. Sitting around the campfire with his sister and childhood friends, it was like living a dream he never dared to have.

It was like reliving a memory he has always hidden away from, a part of his life he has locked away in the darkest corners of his mind. It was like a blinding light has penetrated into the corners of his heart. Showing him all the ridges, all the rims, the fringes torn and untorn, the misshapen self...and helping him walk through it. Face it, endure it, accept it...

And the reason for that... the man who is now sitting opposite to him, laughing at something Stephen has said to provoke Sarha. That laugh, the pure joy that would spread throughout that face, the never-ending love and dedication devotion in those emerald eyes... the most important addition to their group - his Declan.

Ellie: "Don' think 'e will disappear, lovely"

Ant rolls his eyes and turns to her, who sits beside him on the log he was sitting on, to watch the other four playing some game Ant has no idea how to.

Ant: "I don't understand why they love that game so much"

Ellie: "Oye grumpy, let 'em 'ave fun"

Ant laughs at that and shakes his head "I bet Sarha wants us to sleep in today"

Ellie: "That woul' be great! Just like the ol' days"

Ant's face falls at that and Ellie sighs

Ellie: "It's time ya faced it Ant! How lon' can ya run 'way?!"

Ant: "I don't want to talk-"

Ellie: "Of course ya don'! Ya didn' ever bother to check after that, did ya?! Even when I visit mam, all ya do is spare us a smile and a hi. Cut ties with us didn' ya?!"

Ant: "That's not true! I just couldn't -"

Ellie: "Face me? I am 'is daughter Ant, ya owe this to me! He didn' give up his life so that ya can punish ya self!"

Ant: "Not now, Ellie!"

Ellie sighs at that "It's time to move on. If not for ya, at least for that lad. 'e looks at ya like ya are 'is world, ya know that?!"

Ant: "He is my world too. He is the only one keeping me sane"

Ellie: "It's time ya stopped livin' in the past"

Ant: "I'm not-"

Ellie: "Don' lie. I know ya. Have seen ya flinching every time I mention dad. I know why you couldn' face us and how you didn' want to come 'ere. I know ya. But I know 'im too. Dad wouldn' have wanted this for you"

Ant: "I don't choose this. He did. I wasn't worth his-"

His voice breaks and he sighs, his eyes yet again moving to Dec's cheerful face, which wore an adorable pout, aimed at Stephen

Ellie: "Ya are. 'e saw ya as his kid and did what he would 'ave done for one of us"

Ant: "That isn't an excuse for what happened"