Things I Wanted To Say But Didn't

6

When I fall onto this hole..

"I'll be hear in the middle of nowhere, there is no there and it is cold there.."

There is nothing. It's like a black hole that just keeps sucking me down into the obis and i have no idea how to get out of it...

It's a struggle going to sleep. I fear that I'll be pulled in to my sleep be the very jaws of insomnia, burying it's Teath into me as I atempt to sleep...

I pray each morning and night that tomorrow will be better than today. Waking up in this cloudy realisation that I can't destinguish weather I am asleep or awake.

Even water can taste bitter sometimes. . ..

The smell of food makes me sick..

The idea of cold water running over my face is one of the only things that I can think of...

There is a pool at my school and all I can think of doing is screaming under the water, where no one can hear me.

I am just so...

Tired..

And in pain.

Everday is just the same. It's like a broken record that's stuck on repeat. I've got the days down to the minute.

I am tired...

I go to bed and I wake up and I am still just.... so....

Tired.

I am tired of living..

Living the same day everyday where nothing changes.

It just spirals down constantly and I don't know how to make it stop...

I am stuck on repeat..

And I have no idea how to turn it off...