Not a monster [Gaara of the sand love story] Modern au

Chapter seventeen: Breaking heart

It was the twelfth of February when Sarina went out with the trio's parents-They wanted to get to know Sarina more, which was more than okay with her. What she hadn't expect was that the car would slide against black ice on the freeway and be the only one alive afterwards. The only way she knew that she was the only one alive afterwards was because Temari told her so when she woke up from the hospital. Temari was the only one who came to see her-She knew that she'd lose her chance to express herself to Gaara so she asked Temari the next time she'd come by to grab the chocolates that Sakura had gotten for her to give to Gaara.

Temari was more than happy to do so-the day of the fourteenth Temari came by alone with the chocolate and told Sarina that Gaara had shut himself into his room. That he'd only come out to go to school and eat and that's about it. It broke Sarina's heart to know that Gaara had gone into a depression like she had-but at least he just lost his parents, Sarina had lost more than that. So when Sarina had gotten out of the hospital a week later she went to Gaara's room and knocked on it.

He opened the door as he looked to her with hate in his eyes. "What the hell do you want?"

"I..I just wanted to see how you were doing. Temari and Kankuro are very concerned about you Gaara...and so am I. Please...won't you just talk to me or them about what's wrong?" Sarina asked sadly

"You want to know what's wrong? My parents are gone just because of some stupid female that they wanted to 'get to know'. They'd still be alive if it hadn't been for you! I wished that it was you that died and not them! You're just a nobody anyways! No one would have cared if you'd died that day!" gaara said hatefully

Sarina's brown eyes widen as she heard him speak-she hoped that it was only his conflicting emotions that made him say such horrible things to her. She shook her head. "You don't mean that Gaara. I lost my parents too remember-I lost my big brother and elder twin sister. Sure they hurt me a lot but they were my family. They were all I had back then." She said as she closed her eyes. "You still have Temari and Kankuro! Hell you have friends that will always be there for you! I never had that when things got bleak for me! I didn't have the safety net of friends or family! No one gave two shits about me then and I know no one cares about me now!"

She then opened her eyes as she looked up at him. "But for a moment-I really hoped that you would have. That you took me from that ally cause you cared for me-that you sincerely felt something for me. But I was totally wrong! You're just as bad-if not worse than my siblings! If this is how you're going to be then fine I'll leave and you won't have to be reminded of why you don't have parents anymore! I never asked for any of this-I never wanted anyone to die because of me Gaara...I...I'm really sorry. But I know you won't forgive me because you're an asshole!"

She then threw the box she was going to give to him at his face before she got her boots on. She got her school things and left without a word to Kankuro and Temari. She left everything she had gotten from his parents at the house so no one would be able to find her. She held the coat close to her body as she sobbed out. She didn't know where to go but she knew she couldn't live around Gaara anymore-he made his heart and mind up about her.

With Gaara-he was utterly shocked that she had yelled at him, let alone swore at him. He got the box from the ground that she threw at him only to see that it was a small box of chocolates and taped to it was a note. He opened the note as he was curious about why she threw it at him.

|Gaara, I know that things may become weird between us if I say this to you aloud so I'll just write it and hope that things don't get weird regardless. I've had the crush from hell on you since around January around New Years. I've felt so safe and protected around you I'm happy to have called you my friend up till now. But I'd like to ask you through this-can we try to be more than that if you feel the same?|

Feel the same? So she liked him after all...

Gaara shut his eyes as he sighed out in defeat, realizing what he had just done to Sarina. He hoped that she hadn't actually left, he was going to apologize to her. He placed the chocolates in his room and he went to Sarina's room only to not see her there or anywhere in the house. Her bookbag was gone but her electronics were still on her desk. Did she really leave like she said she was going to? Realization hit him hard as he realized she was a woman of her word.

He fell against a wall in her room as he sobbed out into his hands. He couldn't believe that he had made her cry and leave him for good, there was no way he'd be able to find her in the whether that was outside. Which made him get concerned for Sarina, he bolted out of her room wiping his eyes as he did so. He was going to try to find Sarina and make things right-it wasn't right for him to have done what he had to her. It wasn't her fault that the car slid into black ice. There wasn't anything that she could have done to make things go differently. She was there because of him and he had made her leave-stupidly.

He got his winter gear on before he called up those he knew where friends with Sarina. Sakura and Sasuke both yelled at him for yelling at Sarina right after she had gotten out of the hospital. They both agreed to help Gaara find Sarina which he was thankful for. He then set out to look for her himself, he tried to be in the mindset of the brunette female. But he didn't know where she'd go during a blizzard like it was.

Sarina found herself hiding within a box in an ally way as the blizzard got really bad out. She couldn't feel her fingers or toes but it didn't matter-she wouldn't leave the ally no matter who tried to convince her. She was just a monster-a burden to others, it was clear that she truly wasn't wanted or cared for.

"Sarina! Sarina where are you?!"

Sarina covered her ears as she heard Sakura's voice, she didn't want to be found by anyone. Especially not someone who she thought was a friend. "Go away and leave me alone!" She sobbed out softly through her coat

"I think she might have gone back down through here. This is where I found her the first time."

"Are you sure Gaara?"

"Yeah I'm sure, she'll be really hurt and broken cause of what I've said to her so we're going to have to convince her to get out of this ally again."

Sarina stiffened as she heard Gaara's voice. She crawled out of the box and bolted out of the ally way through the other end-but she wasn't quick enough as Sakura and Sasuke both saw her.

"Sarina wait! Come back!" Sakura said loudly

Sarina just shook her head as she rushed off. She didn't want to be found by anyone, especially Gaara. Not after the cold harsh words he spoke to her earlier. She didn't expect him to hate her so vocally or to be so cold towards her for something she couldn't have any control over. She ended up falling and sliding down a hill that led to under a bridge. She quickly crawled her way under the bridge as she hid herself from Sakura, Sasuke and Gaara as she heard them calling her name. She held her hands over her ears as she shook her head refusing to go anywhere near them-she hated that she still lived while others around her died and/or became utterly miserable because of her. All she wanted to do was to die and never be heard of and seen from again.

"I'm a monster...I shouldn't have gotten so close to him or anyone else."