jack gilinsky imagines

like this

you say it's not supposed to be
tell me not to waste my time
this was never up to me
but if it was, i wouldn't mind

i couldn't believe what happened. she left me. she told me that this relationship wasn't worth it, that she would only bring me down. that she was wasting my time, how she knew i was the only one for her but she wasn't for me.
i fucking hate her. at least, that's what i'm trying to tell myself. she doesn't deserve me. right? wrong.
i need her, i need her touch. i need her to be with me. i don't know who i am without her.

i'm trying to ignore ya
try to go on with my day
but i still pick up the phone, yeah
and get lost in what you say

as i lay there, wondering what i did so wrong, my phone rings. her name lights up my phone and i immediately pick it up, my subconscious knowing it was the wrong thing to do.

"hey jack" she said in a low voice, almost inaudible.

"hey y/n" fuck. my voice quivered, showing how i was about to cry again.

"so y/n, why'd you call?" i ask, hoping that by some grace of god she didn't ask why my voice quivered and got heavier.

"nothing, i just wanted to talk."

and there it starts. she tells me about how she's been since she's broken up with me. how she's been miserable and hasn't laughed for so long.

fucking liar i think. if she were telling the truth, why would she break up with me? why is she lying about this?

but i don't ask. i don't even try interrupting her to give my two cents. i just wanted to hear her voice and how it got higher when she would feel really passionate about things or how it got lower when she felt embarrassed to admit anything.

i can try to stop it,
all i like
hands down, i've lost this fight

"do you wanna meet up somewhere, jack? i really miss you." she says, whispering.

"YES. i mean, sure yeah if you're down" i try not to sound eager and i know i shouldn't be so eager. but i am.

for the past 2 years i've known her, she's been all i can think about. when i asked her out 6 months ago, and she surprisingly said yes, i was immediately the happiest person ever. she became my everything in such a short amount of time, it's crazy.

nothing could compare to how she makes me feel. doesn't matter what's gonna happen in the future; i'll always fight for us. for us to be together, for her to be happy.

my subconscious said not to go, not to pay so much attention to her. that it was gonna bring me down.

well, i guess i'm going down like this