Messed Up Shit

The First Ending

Free

/frē/

adjective

1.not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes.

I didn't think I would do it to myself. All this time and It was going to be me doing this. I looked in the mirror and saw myself.

Trash.

"ATHENA OPEN THE DOOR!"

Worthless.

"SWEETIE DON'T"

Useless.

"PLEASE BABY DON'T"

I'm everything wrong.

I'm nothing anymore and this time i'll do it right. Noah. Mom. Demain. I'm sorry for everything. Life is a game and i've lost. I tried winning but I keep losing. I'm tired of playing a game that I can't win and the only way out is death to me.

Thanks for everyone though. I love everyone I met and lost. But I think I better quit this game while i'm still here.

I dug in my bag and took out the antidepressants pills. I counted out 1 for everyone I held dearest.

1 for my mom.

1 for my dad.

1 for each of my 3 siblings.

1 for Demain.

3 for Noah. Noah can break me the most. He knows enough to break me and never return back.

1 for each of my 2 bestfriends.

Lastly 1 for my Coco.

That's 12.

12 pills to end everything. 12 to give me peace.It's usually your loved ones that make you want to stay. This time it was the ones I held closest who drove me to do this. I dump the rest out because 12 is all I need. I fill the now empty bottle with water. Everyone is trying to take down the bathroom door now. I hear ambulance sirens and I know it was mom. Last time it was almost to late.

I just wanna be done so I quickly popped all the pills in my mouth then quickly swallowed and washed it down with water. I felt the pills hit a second later. My body felt heavy. I felt everything shut down. As I was close to losing feeling I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I looked at everyone for the last time and collapsed in Demain's arms. My eyes were closing slowly and I heard everyone call my name the ambulance was right outside. This time they are too late. Then everything black.

I'm finally free from the game. Time to finally be FREE and at PEACE.

Thanks for letting me play.

Everything feels empty now. Being happy was a challenge. I could have won the lottery for billions of dollars and still go home feeling depressed. I just can't help it anymore.Bye everyone it was nice when it was fun. Then everything went blank.

Am I here yet? Where is here anyway? I looked around and it was just white. There was only me. Then Coco appeared out of nowhere. We ran towards each other and I gave her a big hug. When I let go I seen a bright light coming from a part of the room.

'Maybe that's going to take me to heaven.' I started walking towards it and Coco followed me. When I got to what seemed like the entrance I stopped and looked back. There wasn't anything there but it felt like there was. I turned back around and took a deep breath then walked through. I felt light, like I finally let go.

Now it's just me. I'm free.

Being alive is great but the hardships will destroy you. It takes a strong heart to get over it but mine wasn't. Now I'm free I can do whatever I want. No one to influence what I want to do. Thinking for myself without having any consequences. Free to think, free to act.

This is truly what it means to be free.