[DISCONTINUED] Tacenda | j.p

27|.crush

Still playing : Marshmello/ Bastille - Happier

“ In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind
Not the fire that we begun ”

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Acacia's POV

T

he next morning I didn't feel like getting up at all, I still feel like shit and I wanna jump into a hole and die. I still don't know why and I'm unsure if I can confide in someone else, other than my sassy cat.

"Get up Ace, we're gonna be late for breakfast.", I heard Clarabell yell at me and I'm lying on the bed on my stomach so my groan was stifled by the pillow.

I honestly don't feel like dealing with anything today. With people, teachers and specially with James. "Ace!"She yelled again but I didn't move a muscle, I thought I was victorious and she was finally gonna stop being loud when I felt someone jump at me.

A strand of purple hair caught my eyes when I tried to get up and I was being tickled. The result of that is me on the floor coughing, Adaline crouched down to help me up and patted my back while I glare at Thalia who posed in my bed.

"That's not how you wake someone up when they feel like shit in the morning!" They must've thought I was joking, I did too , but instead of laughing and waving it off I went to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

When I was inside I could feel them whisper but I can't make out what they're saying, Merlin what's wrong with me?

I'm taking out my unknown frustrations on my bestest of friends? I stared at myself in the mirror and I did not like what I see. Bird nest of a hair, bags under my eyes and visible misery in my eyes.

Wow, I don't just feel like shit. I look like shit.

With that though out of the way I took a painfully slow shower in hopes that my friends would get tired of waiting and leave which I thought was successful because when I stepped out the room was empty.

I was about to do a victory dance when I spotted Adaline on my bed. She gave me a warm smile and patted the space next to her, I sigh in defeat and walked over. She scanned my face to see the evidence, "Where's the others?", I hope I didn't scare them off too much.

"They went to breakfast, we decided I'm the best at this thing.", Does she mean at listening? I just nodded as a reply and looked down to fidget with my hands.

"What's wrong?" There it is. The question I have no idea how ti answer, I'm pretty sure nothing is wrong. I got Lily to worry about James and James is happy that my brilliant plan is working, I got to talk to Regulus and my cat finally stopped hissing at Sirius.

"I don't know, I've been asking myself that and I," I paused to look up and my vision was blurry, "I don't know." Salazar, am I crying?

"Tell me how this started.", She calmly replied and I told her about my deal with James and how that day went, the things I left out about my Christmas, the favor l
Lily asked of me and how talking to James about his progressing love life made me this.

She listened until I had nothing left to say, nodding along to tell me that she's listening and everytime my voice would break she'd squeeze my hand that I unknowingly placed in hers. When I was done she held this gentle gaze but even then I can hear them saying ‘You are fucked’ which they are probably right.

"You like James." I was a crying mess at the moment but I couldn't help the snort, how in Salazar's basilisk? I shook my head no but she nodded yes and it went like that for what felt like years to me.

"I do not like James. He's been in love with Lily for Merlin knows how long!" She didn't seem convinced and even though my voice is rising, hers kept calm and she was understanding of the emotional mess that I am right now.

"Tell me what you think of James." I narrowed my teary eyes at her, but I did as told anyways.

"First of all, he's a git. He always manage to get me in some sort of situation but helps me out of it, second, hurts my feelings and makes up for it and third, he might seem like a no good troublemaker but he's sweet. He's got this cute laugh that he always sounded out of breath, and this amazing hazel eyes that I always get lost in — Oh my Salazar, I like James."

She giggled at my sudden realisation and my hands flung to cover my shaking lips, she's right and now it all makes sense.

How can I be so dumb? Why else would I be hurt that he's a tad bit closer to getting Lily? Why else would my heart skip a beat whenever he smiled at me?

I like James.

I like James.

I like James.

I can't do that! He's gonna end up with Lily an they're gonna have Harry and live happily ever after, while I'm gonna get over this crush and die in a hole.

That's right.

Well, maybe not the dying in a hole part but  I have to make this crush, infatuation, whatever disappear. "He belongs with Lily and I belong with the cats." I exclaimed and Adaline looked at me like I was crazy. "I have to stop this crush, Addy, help me."

I threw myself at her and hugged her, she patted my back and I can hear her softly sigh. "I will, I'm gonna find you a date for the coming Hogsmeade weekend." I felt like jumping or doing those stunts muggle did where they flip on air but instead stayed in my best friend's arms.

"But for now let's go to breakfast, I'm hungry." She giggled and grabbed my hand before I could even fix myself for the great hall to see the troll that I really am.

I sat down with Thalia and Clarabell who started talking to me like my eyes aren't puffy and red, they didn't pry and instead acted as if all was normal and good in the world. I couldn't of asked for better friends, I got lucky with the best ones out there.

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Lol I don't have friends.