[DISCONTINUED] Tacenda | j.p

26|.the best

Now Playing : Marshmello / Bastille -
Happier

" When the morning comes
When we see what we've become "

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Acacia's POV

The first week back in Hogwarts was normal, I rarely ran into James and Regulus again tho and I'm happy that he's following my tip. He's been ignoring Lily and I can't help but smile triumphantly whenever I'd see Lily steal glances at him.

She might be weirded out but at least she's starting to notice him without anger burning in her eyes. As for now I'm trying to focus on my Transfiguration essay but Lily kept sighing beside me.

"Sigh one more time and the table might fly away." I teased but she didn't crack a smile and instead looked over her shoulders to see Potter reading.

Even I was in shock to see the boy holding an open book, reading it even! "I'm worried. He's been acting weirdly." She whispered which was unecessary because they are seated a bit far from us.

"Why don't you go and ask him what's up?" I tried to hide the message behind my words and she was too upset to notice, I feel bad that James ignoring her for the first-time is affecting her too much.

Lily has been a great friend, I should be the same, and I am being the same by making her realise that she does have feelings for James.

"I don't think so." She replied and went back to her essay, I frowned at her reply. I kept my gaze on James and he must've felt the weight of my gaze because he looked up and searched. I didn't look away and waited for him to meet my eyes, when he did the side of his lips twitch ever so lightly and I replied with a small smile.

I turned away first after holding his gaze for almost a minute and looked at Lily who held a frown at her essay, "You're obviously upset about his odd behaviours, you know you can tell me anything, right?" She gave me a forced smile and dropped her quill.

"Right." She turned her body to me and I mirrored the move to face her, "I know I seem like I hate James but I also know that deep down he's a good person, it's just hidden under layers of trouble and I'm worried that something's going on with him...maybe you should ask him?", I backed away in protest, I suggested this so that she will be missing him and would go ask him but now I'm the one to do that?

The hopeful eyes Lily is giving me with her piercing emerald eyes is hard to say no to, I'm afraid of what words would come out of my mouth if I parted my lips so I just nodded. I frowned when she started putting away her things and she hugged me quickly, "You're the best! Tell me how it goes." She whispered the last part against my hair and pulled away to walk out of the library.

I sit there alone and dumbfounded until what happened finally sunk in. I put all my things away and headed for the table occupied by four boys and three of them are actually doing work, Sirius Black is napping and I'll never know how he's not kicked out yet.

I tapped the dark-haired boy whose nose is burried in a book on the shoulder, he turned and wasn't surprised to see me standing behind him. He arched a brow, "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Peter looked up from writing and frowned, probably wondering what I want with his friend. I sent a small smile his way and he immediately looked down, must be shy.

James nodded and pushed himself up, I walked farther into the library and settled in between two towering shelves. When I was done walking I turned to face him and leaned a bit to the self behind me.

"Lily's worried about you." I didn't miss the small smile to appear on his handsome features and I felt something in my heart again but this time it didn't feel oddly good, it hurt. Did I just call him handsome?

"Really now?" His innocent small smile got replaced by a cheeky one. I not so subtly placed a hand on my chest and massaged it a bit, I nodded avoiding his eyes.

Instead I turned my head to watch the students pass by the aisle. "Told you it would work, I'm the best." I repeated Lily's words incorrectly and a bitter smile unconsciously made it's way to my lips.

Why am I feeling so defeated? Isn't this what I wanted?

The peculiar feeling have me weak in my knees and my chest feels heavy. Does changing the past take a few years away from mt lifetime and I'm feeling the effects now?

If I'm dead by the end of the first war then so be it.

"You are." His tone unrecognisable and it made me turn to him, accidentally meeting his eyes. He seemed to be in a trance and I quickly looked away when he regained his senses, "I mean, thanks...for helping me, that is." I bit my lower lip to try and calm the unpleasant feeling spreading in my chest.

"So what do I tell her then?" Recalling the point of why I called him to talk, "Just tell her I'm maturing." Is Lily even gonna buy that? Sure, it's not too impossible because he became Head Boy yet I myself would snort if I was given such a lame excuse.

"Okay." I didn't bother to argue because the urge to get as far away from him as possible grew stronger every passing second. "Okay." He replied back and I took it as my cue to leave.

He called after me but I didn't look back, I made a swift turn and walked faster in fear of him following me and my legs took me to the room of requirements. I slid down the door and dropped on the floor with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Why am I even crying?

All I know is that I'm hurting and my heart hurts.

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too angsty?