[DISCONTINUED] Tacenda | j.p

30|.wrong

Still Playing : Marshmello / Bastille - Happier

“ Then only for a minute
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me ”

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Acacia's POV

I didn't wait for his answer and instead turned away to get as far away from him as possible. The pain in my chest is too much to bear, I can't stand the sight of him looking at me with hateful eyes.

Why does he always assume the worst of me? I can hear him call after me and I didn't bother to look back and instead ran when his longer legs started to catch up.

I look ridiculous running away from a boy calling after me and I look guilty of something more than anything. I should've gone to class to escape him but I wouldnt be able to explain to Professor McGonagall the tears streaming down my face so I was on autopilot.

My heart hurting, mind racing, heart pounding and legs running I ended up on the seventh floor right infront of the Room of Requirements.

I hurried walking across it three times but before I could open the door I was pressed against the wall beside it. A gasp came out of my parted lips and I'm forced to meet eyes with a pair of soft Hazel ones.

Damn those eyes.

"What do you want?", I asked with my voice barely above a whisper, his face is so close to mine I'm tempted to kick him in the groin and run away screaming like a banshee but I stayed there. Anticipating the words that'll come out of his mouth.

"Why did you run?" Why did I run? I don't know! Maybe because he was hurting me with his ridiculous accusation? Maybe because I'm having feelings for someone that can never be mine because I know his future and it's not with me?

"Let me go, James." I meant alot more than his tight grip on my wrist making sure that I don't run away again, what if I cut all connections with him?

What if I make him mad and make sure it results to him hating me so that he'd stay away and my feelings would vanish like it was never there. It's easy, I just have to make him hate me.

Make him hate me so much he'd never look my way ever again.

It sounds easier in my head because the thought of him looking at me with hate hurts much more than the knowledge that he'll never return my feelings.

"I can't." I sensed a deeper meaning in his words and I itched to know just what it is. I nibbled in my lower lip to hold back any remarks I'll regret and his eyes briefly looked down to eye my lips and something ignited in me.

A very strong force urged me to just pull him and lock his lips with mine but I'm still in the right mind to stop myself. Unconsciously I mirrored his move and eyed his lips that seemed so inviting, begging for mine to press against it so I quickly looked away and I turned my face away.

It was to no avail when I felt him hold my chin in his fingers and force my head to turn back to him, what is he doing with those eyes?

They're luring me into the fire in his eyes, I don't want to be burned yet his flames are so inviting and I craved his warmth. I was a big fan of winter, the cold gave me comfort for it's all I've ever known and now here is James Potter with warmth in his eyes.

I shouldn't play with fire. "What do you mean you can't?", I know the answer and I feared it. Please let me be wrong, please let my assumptions stay just that because I won't be able to control myself if ever the wrong words are to come out of his mouth.

I beg of you James.

Don't say...

"I like you Acacia River, I never knew it was possible because I've been after Lily for so long but I like you.", I released the breath I didn't know I was holding but I did not feel relieved at all, "I like the way your hair would stand out in the snow, I like the way your eyes would contrast with my scarf, I like the way you confront me and prove me wrong, I like the tone of your voice whenever you set me straight, I like everything about you. I might even love you."

Jaw dropped I can't form words. My train of thoughts came to an end when he spoke again, "Please say something." He sounded out of breath and I honestly don't know what to say.

I wanna turn him down, make him hate me. I should turn him down but his hopeful eyes had me weak in the knees, "You can't." The way he broke from my words stabbed me in the chest.

When I was fighting for my life in the battle of Hogwarts, never did I imagine that I will be standing before James Potter confessing his love while I try my hardest to burry mine.

"Why not?" His voice cracked, I wanted to look away, Merlin I really did but his eyes begged me and I can't bear to see pain flash in his eyes.

I'm hurting him as much as he is hurting me. Only I am purposely doing it while he's got no idea that— "I know the future James." Stubborn tears started making their way down my cheeks, "It's not you and me."

He shook his head in protest against my words that speak the truth. I can't, he can't, we can't! He belongs with Lily while I belong to saving as any people as I could before my time here is up.

"You don't know that." But I do and it's not possible. He's gonna marry Lily and have Harry, while I do everything that I can to stop Voldemort from killing them and ending him for good.

"Please, let me go James." Instead of complying to my plea he closed the distance between us by locking his lips with mine and every doubt I had in mind turned into ashes.

I should have pushed him away. It would've been the right to do but I wasn't strong enough and I gave in. Responding to his kisses while tears cascade from my closed eyes, gripping his robes to stop my knees from buckling.

His lips were soft and perfect against mine but they also felt wrong. This was wrong but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care.

This was never supposed to happen.

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