[DISCONTINUED] Tacenda | j.p

40|.

A/N : So this is not yet official but I'm thinking of making a story starring Thalia and Sirius! 

>>No more songs from this point.

(An edit I made like, months ago, to apologize for my negligence to this story.  Ps : I love James' face here.)

‹›‹›‹›

Thalia enlightened me on things to do on a date last night because Clara was too tired from whatever she did that she was a snoring mess. Adaline doesn't have any experience on dates so she was silently taking notes herself, I must say that Thalia's advices were decent and it didn't involve snogging Oliver.

"Best of luck!" Clara cheered and I entered the Three Broomsticks searching for Oliver and he didn't disappoint on being early because there he was, sat in the far corner and he even waved at me.

I waved back and walked over, smiling widely. "Did you wait for too long?" I asked shyly and he shook his head to say no. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll get us something to drink, what do you want?" he asked, standing up.

"Butterbeer will do." I replied. He walked away to grab said drinks and he even playfully winked at me from where he's standing and I just know this is gonna be a successful date.

‹›‹›‹›

After my date with Oliver, I couldn't wipe out the smile from my face and went for a hug. Whispering a thank you for such an amazing day which he only chuckled at before pulling away. I watched his retreating back with a small smile.

Well now I got that out of the way. I'm still not sure what to do from here. Dumbledore told me to follow my heart and my friends suggested something somewhat similar. I know I love James Potter, I'm sure of that, just as I am sure of my own name.

But if I choose to proceed with this, how will I hide the truth from him? I tried telling my friends about it and they shrugged it off, how would he react?

After deciding I stood there long enough I began to walk around Hogwarts. Not really wanting to be interrogated about my date by my friends yet but also having nowhere specific on mind to go and my feet betrayed me when they dragged me to the common room.

It's gladly empty because they must all still be at Hogsmeade and hoped my friends are too, I did catch them trying to follow Oliver and I but that was before I lost them in Honeyduke's. 

I walked up the stairs to the boy's dorm and slowly raised my hand to knock. I released a deep breath before knocking softly. I waited for a few seconds and figured there was no one inside. Of course he and his friends wouldn't miss a trip to Hogsmeade.

I hung my head low and made a step to turn around, feeling defeated when the door opened. I looked up to meet eyes with James and he looked taken back to see me. I looked up to see him towering over me with confusion written all over his face.

"Uh hi," It was almost inaudible by how quiet my voice is. "I was wondering if we could talk." I bit my lower lip to try and look over his shoulder which my eyes can't really reach. "Inside, if it's okay?"

I watched him nod and step aside to let me in. I wasn't surprised to see how messy it is considering I know how the four boys are. I took a guess, sitting down on what I think is his bed and he sat next to the bed next to it to face me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He asked, probably finding the silence suffocating like I do. I licked my lower lip to keep them from cracking and released yet another deep breath.

"I love you, James."I confessed and before he could say anything I put my hand up. "I know I lied and kept my feelings from you and that is because I'm scared." I didn't plan to come here and confess but it's too late to turn back now.

I love James and deserves the truth. Even if it's the whole truth that will hurt us both.

"I am from the future and before this all sound too crazy, I'm not lying and I'm saying this to be completely honest with you. I did not come here on purpose, I don't know how and why but here I am. And I know that it's you and Lily in the future, you have a son named Harry and he's gonna be a hero. Now I'm here and I caught feelings for you and I can't do this with you James." I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I swore to myself when the time comes, I'll be strong enough. I've been to war and yet pouring my heart out and facing James Potter bare had me weak.

Here I am naked, telling him everything he deserved to know even if it changes the way he sees me because I'm tired of covering up. Putting on layer after layer until I can hardly breathe under fabrics of lies and now I'm taking them all off.

"Because I know it's you and Lily. Not you and I and I don't think I can handle if I let this go on only to be thrown aside for someone else." During my speech, a thought came to mind. Is James what my heart wants? Sure, I love him but is he who I should follow?

I let the silence devour us. The dying sun on the window making his hazel eyes look like honey through his glasses and he didn't say anything. His breathing remained the same and I feared he even understood what I said in between sobs.

Why couldn't I just hold all the tears in until I finished my talking? 

Very faintly, I heard him sharply inhale. 

"Okay, you might be right but I know how I feel and that's for you." He muttered slowly, I can only thank he's not calling me crazy yet. "Lily is an amazing person and that made me like her. . .but I love you."

I didn't know what to say, I was afraid if I made any noise or a small move I'd shatter the illusion. That he'll start laughing at me or that he'll disappear into the air and I'll wake up on my bed. But he moved, standing up to lower himself to level his face with mine.

"I," My words are lost when he softly pressed his lips against mine. This one didn't hurt as much as the first one, before I firmly believed I couldn't have him but right now? I badly wanted to believe I could and that made me wrap my arms around him to pull him deeper.

Everything was blurry. The only thing I could feel was his lips on mine and how good it felt to have him so close, I didn't even feel my back softly colliding with the bed and just ran my fingers through his messy hair and felt him smile against the kiss.

"Bloody hell! Seriously, on my bed?" I quickly pulled away to turn, looking through James' arm propped on the bed and spotted Sirius on the doorway, blocking the two other boys from coming in.

‹›‹›‹›

Wattpad is being weird and not letting me type to title so i guess this chapter is just '40|.' smh