Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

Jason vs. Ash

Okay, let's play a quick game of catch up here: I have just arrived at the former home of a psychopathic killer; I retrieved a book that is over ten-thousand years old, inked in blood and bound in flesh; survived an attack at the hands of a hockey mask-clad killer; and saved a beautiful blonde in the process. Life is so fucking great!

My guess is that Mr. Hockey Mask isn't just a pissed-off trick-or-treater that's nearly two months late for Halloween. In my opinion, I think he's a Deadite manifestation Hell-bent on stopping yours-truly from getting the Necronomicon. This goon has already sliced his way through at least one group of sex-crazed punks and now wants to take care of good old Yours Truly.

Well, Slap Shot has two things to learn about Ashley J. Williams: One; I need a new car with a working starter;

And Two; I don't die easily.

At least, not so far...

***

Jason was getting closer and closer! Bree was in absolute hysterics, shouting fearfully for her life and yanking on the handle of the door to get out, not aware that Ash had locked it to keep her from doing just that!

"He's coming!" Bree shouted as she pounded on the glass!

Jason raised his machete and threw it into the windshield, the steel implement a blur as it sped towards Ash's head! It crashed through the window, sending glass raining down inside the car; Ash's reflexes kicked in and he caught it with his metal hand, the tip only centimeters away from his nose!

Bree's scream was ear-splitting! Ash finally unlocked the door and rose out of the driver's seat!

"Run," he told Bree just as Jason brought his hands down on the hood of the car, smashing it in and shaking the car violently! Bree took Ash's advice to heart and bolted away from the car as Ash dropped the machete on the snow, running out towards the lake! Once he reached the shore, he turned around to see Jason picking his machete up out of the snow!

"Alright, Hockey Fuck, let's go!" Ash shouted, firing his shotgun! The buckshot hit Jason square in the gut, sending him stumbling backwards briefly, but he quickly regained his balance.

Ash turned to run out onto the lake and reload the gun, but slipped on the ice and skidded forward, the Necronomicon sliding from his bag! He briefly paid it no mind, instead focusing on breaking up the gun and putting two more shells inside! He snapped it shut and pointed it back to where Jason had been moments ago... only to find his barrel pointed at empty air!

Ash's heart dropped, looking around like a paranoid chicken! He had to be here somewhere...

Not seeing any sign of Jason, Ash turned back to the book. He saw it less than ten feet away from his left foot, and began inching across the ice towards it, only to be knocked to the ground by what seemed like a semi-truck!

Ash looked up and saw that the semi-truck was actually Jason, who was casting an enormous shadow over him! Jason bent down and grabbed Ash by the shirt collar, lifting him up off the ground!

A pair of headlights turned on behind Jason! Ash looked back and saw the lights bearing down on them! The car slammed into Jason, who then dropped Ash to the ground while the car, a massive sports utility vehicle, moved past so quickly that Ash didn't even have time to yell! He was so close that if he had stuck his tongue out, he could have licked the chrome!

Jason, however, didn't fare so well! The car smacked into the hulking figure, sending him flying! Jason flew horizontal through the air and smacked into a tree with a "CRACK" and with such force that a normal human would have been snapped in two! Unfortunately, Jason wasn't a normal human...