Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

1428 Elm Street

"Where the hell are we?" Ash asked as he began walking towards the barrier.

"I don't think we're in New Jersey anymore," Carrie said to Ash as he pulled out his shotgun.

"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door." The girls continued singing and Ash began freaking out as if he had just now noticed them.

"Hey," Ash yelled. "Get outta here! It's not safe!"

"Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay awake."

Ash ran towards the girls, attempting to shoo them away.

"Ahhhhhh!!!" Ash turned around rapidly. The first thing he saw was Carrie being carried off into the house by Krueger! "Ash, help!"

Ash ran back towards the house! "Krueger, you bastard! Get your claws off of her!" Ash raised his shotgun and fired a round of buckshot at Krueger, but the door to the house closed, causing the shot to do nothing but chip some of the red paint!

"Catch her if you can, Willy! Ah-hahahahahaha!" Krueger's voice taunted him! Ash ran for the door but was stopped by something wrapping around his neck!

"Nine, ten..."

"NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!" said the girls' voices, yet they sounded like they had merged with Krueger's voice.

With a strength that was unusual for girls their size, the girls pulled the jump rope around Ash's neck and sent him tumbling backwards to the ground!

Dazed, Ash looked up and saw that the flesh on the girls' faces became discolored and malformed and their teeth became pointed and black, like Krueger's; they had become Deadites!

The jump rope began to snake around his neck tighter and tighter, choking him as if it were alive!

"Little Ashley Williams," they sang in a deep, warped voice. "We're gonna get you! Little Ashley Williams..."

"What's wrong, Ash?" one of them screamed. "Aren't you gonna save us, Ashley?"

At that, she jumped into the air towards Ash, grabbing his head and immediately clawing at it! Meanwhile, the rope began to get tighter and tighter!

"I can try goddamnit!" Ash groaned.

"Well, we don't wanna be saved! We want to..."

"SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"

"HAHAHAHA! SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"

All three girls suddenly broke into chants of "Swallow your soul!" At that moment, the jump rope reared up and faced Ash! Except it wasn't a jump rope anymore: it was a six-foot-long snake with red and green stripes running its entire length, ending at Freddy's face!

"What's with kids today, huh, Ash? I mean, they don't respect their elders!" boomed the Freddy-snake.

"Get the fuck off me!" Ash said. He ripped the snake off of his neck and threw it away! He then raised his shotgun to one of the girls that had held the snake and fired!

BA-BOOM!

The girl's head exploded in a shower of blood, bone, and brain matter. The girl's hands rose to where her head had been, fingers grasping desperately for the missing body part!

"Oh shit," the girl's disembodied voice said as the torso finally gave up the ghost and collapsed to the snow!

Ash took his chainsaw and sliced through another one.

"NO... NO... NO!" screamed the demon as the chainsaw sliced through her!

Ash turned and stuck his chainsaw into the gut of the final Deadite! Her face had black lines running through it, running from her mouth down to her neck! Ash grabbed the collar of her dress and pulled her towards him, sending the chainsaw through her stomach and out the other side, dragging out intestines and black blood as the chain spun.

"We still live! We still live!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Ash said, raising his shotgun to the girl's head! He pulled the trigger and buckshot tore through her head! The final result was a sizeable hole in the girl's head where the upper jaw and nose should have been! Ash removed the chainsaw, causing the corpse to fall limply to the ground!

"Little girls shouldn't play with snakes, Krueger!"

Angered, the Freddy-snake lunged at Ash. Ash ducked and grabbed the snake by the mid-section. He then swung the Freddy-snake into a pillar on the porch, cracking its backbone! The snake continued to move and writhe in pain!

"Everyone knows how the story of the Serpent and the Garden of Eden turned out, right Krueger?"

The Freddy-snake said nothing. It tried to crawl under the door of the Elm Street house, but Ash stepped on the tail, stopping it!

"But this time, you can keep the promises and the apple!"

With that, Ash aimed the shotgun at the Freddy-snake and fired.

BA-BOOM!

The Freddy-snake's head shattered in a shower of blood! Ash raised the barrel of his gun to his lips.

"I don't need either of them as long as I got my boomstick." With that, he took a breath and blew off the end of the barrel, blowing away the smoke.