Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

La Casa Voorhees

"Hey, Ash!"

Ash looked up from his stocking in Hardware to see Carrie standing over him, jacket in hand.

"David and I wanted to know what your plans are for tonight. We're having a Christmas party with a few friends and wanted to know if you would join us. Maybe share some more of your stories?" Carrie added hopefully.

Ash smiled at her but shook his head. "Can't, sweetie," he told her. "I've got plans. Gonna have me a party of my own with a few friends: Jack and Jim."

"Oh," Carrie said, sounding legitimately disappointed. "Well, call me if you change your mind," she said as she handed him a slip with hers and David's numbers. Ash took it gratefully as Carrie left. He checked his watch; it was approaching 7:00, which meant his shift was nearly over.

Ash stood up and began walking back towards the employee lounge to punch out when his eyes drifted over something shiny. Ash backpedaled and stared at a brand-new chainsaw display.

The chainsaw was lying on a rack inside a polycarbonate display case; it was black and silver-polished chrome with rubberized grip handles, diamond-tipped titanium-bladed chain on a two-foot blade that "Cuts Through Steel", and an EZ-Rip cord that promised "One-Pull Start Every Time!"

A sign with silver-inlaid lettering advertised the tool as "Chain Lightning, from STHIL! Price: $399.99 + tax!"

"What I wouldn't give to have one of these babies..." Ash said as he continued past it. "Unfortunately, more than I can afford right now."

Ash made his way to the employee lounge at the back of the store and clocked out, then headed back up to the front of the store, swinging by the liquor aisle on the way.

As Ash looked over the whiskey selection, he noticed a tall, slim, beautiful blonde staring at the camping equipment in the nearby Sporting Goods section. She wore a heavy black biker's jacket and skin-tight blue jeans, a small whale-tale showing just above the waistline. Ash caught himself staring as she bent over, her ass forcing the denim to stretch and mold to her inner-thighs; Ash suddenly felt a nosebleed coming on.

"Guess I can try to help her out," he said to himself. He ran his fingers through his greasy hair and approached the blonde in his best impersonation of a gentleman, which was still terrible.

"Excuse me," he said. "Can I help you with something, Miss...?"

Without turning, the blonde said, "Call me Bree." She then turned to him and her jaw fell wide open, causing her to nearly drop the yellow sucker she had there. She removed the black leather jacket she was wearing and revealed a pink spaghetti-strap that flaunted her curves perfectly. "I'm, uh, my girlfriends and I are going up to a cabin at the lake and I need some supplies. I already have the essentials, like G-Strings and other goodies, but I don't know what else I'll need."

Ash stared at her dumbfounded. His mind was reeling at all the possibilities of what might happen in the next few hours. Was she coming onto him? He suddenly imagined himself with Bree in a warm cabin in the woods, doing things to explicit to explain in detail.

Quickly, he regained his composure and replied, "My name is Ash Williams. Now, I'm no outdoor specialist, but I know my way around a cabin."

Ash grabbed a nearby cart and suddenly began filling it with... well, everything.

"First, you're gonna need these Coleman cooking products..." Ash began stuffing various camping equipment into the cart and kept gabbing at high speeds while Bree just listened intently. "Never hurts to have a few sleeping bags! How about a magnesium Firestarter? And you wouldn't want to be caught dead with out a tent! Biggest one we got: sleeps five people quite comfortably!"