Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

Ash's Nightmare

I knew it was too good to be true. I mean, how could I have been so naive to believe that my hand had suddenly grown back, only for it to somehow have gotten possessed again? Kind of a modern ''Farewell to Arms". Never read it myself, but the title says it all.

At first, I thought this was just another Deadite kick to the balls. But as you'll find out soon, I was wrong. Like, REALLY fucking wrong!

Why was I wrong, you ask? Well, I was about to be introduced to the Bastard Son of a Hundred Maniacs, Mister Dead Astaire himself, Freddy Krueger!

***

Ash's hand suddenly lurched out and slapped him across the face. Ash swatted the hand away several times, but then the hand tried to poke at his eyes. Ash stuck up a hand in a way that the two fingers bifurcated and stopped before gouging his eyes out!

Ash laughed, and then the fingers poked him in the eyes! Ash felt the blades enter his eyeballs and reach deep into his brain before removing themselves.

"Oh, son of a cunt-nugget!" Ash yelled as he cradled his eyes. "Oh no, I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind!" Ash opened his eyes. He was perfectly fine. He looked at his possessed hand. It waved at him in a seductive manner. Ash rolled his eyes.

"That wasn't funny, you little cunt-nugget. That actually hurt." The possessed hand just flipped Ash the bird.

"Okay, we'll fix this right up!"

Ash ran out of the cabin holding his possessed hand with his free one! He looked around, desperately searching!

"Tool shed! Gotta get to the tool shed."

Ash saw the tool shed a few yards to his left. He ran for it, but it seemed to get further away with every step he took.

"Come on, come on!" Ash yelled! Finally, Ash reached the shed and kicked the door open, looking around hastily.

"Come on, where is that goddamned chainsaw?"

Ash looked up on the wall; dozens of tools were hung up by nails and peg hooks, white tape outlining their places. In the center of the wall was a taped outline of where the chainsaw would go, but the spot was depressingly void of a chainsaw.

"Well that's maddeningly unhelpful!" Ash looked around for the machine! "Where the fuck is it? Ah-ha!"

Ash saw a table nearby. A tarp lay on the wooden surface, covering a rather familiar looking shape.

"Bingo," Ash yelled. Ash grabbed the tarp and pulled...

Ash's face dropped like a stone, his lower jaw dropping impossibly low to the ground.

Underneath the tarp was a leaf blower!

"Stop fucking with my head!" Ash yelled out as he sank to his knees! A loud bang behind him startled Ash; he looked back and saw the chainsaw on the ground. Finally, someone was being merciful!

"There you are!" he chuckled. He grabbed the chainsaw and bit down on the pull cord, yanking his head back and the chainsaw forward to pull the cord and start it up! The engine revved as he pulled the trigger, causing the chainsaw blades to speed up and spin dangerously fast!

"Oh yeah! I'm gonna get ya!" His possessed hand began shaking and tried to claw for his eyes again, but Ash shook his head in defiance and began digging the saw into his wrist!

The hand began slapping at the chainsaw, protesting what was happening! The spinning blade dug into Ash's wrist, cutting through his flesh like butter! Ash winced when the blade hit the bones, but he continued slicing through his wrist! Ash pushed down the pain and rolled with laughter as blood splattered on his face.