Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

David's Nightmare

David looked around in confusion. One minute he was in that weird dream prison, and now he was standing in his high school gymnasium! He saw that he was standing in a line with the others from his gym class and had changed into a white t-shirt and basketball shorts. Everyone else was wearing identical clothes; the guys, though, had comically over-sized muscles and all of the women had their pants so low, you could see the whale-tail of their G-strings going up their buttocks. Clearly not school appropriate attire...

"What the fuck?" Before David could think any further, a loud ear-splitting whistle filled the gym.

"Alright, boys and girls: it's time to pick teams," the coach screamed. "Chester, Thelma, you two are team captains." "Chester" and "Thelma" took their places on either side of the coach. David couldn't see the coach's face, though, because it was hidden by the shadow of the green ballcap on his head.

"I'll take Fat Willie, Easy Suzie, and Ted, the Sped," Chester said.

"I'll take Betty Blue Balls, Pencil Dick, and Two-Ton Tammy," Thelma said. On and on, the picking went until David was the last one left.

"Looks like you're taking Dickless David," Chester said to Thelma.

"Fuck no! I'm not taking Dickless! You take him," Thelma shot at Chester.

"No fucking way!" Chester yelled. "You take him!"

"Come on, now, kids!" said the coach. "Let's not fight over this! I've got a solution that works for everyone!"

The coach turned to David, who then saw the warped face of Freddy Krueger. Freddy held a dodgeball in his gloved hand, which suddenly erupted into a sphere of spikes!

"Odd-man-out dies! Ah-hahahaha!" Freddy rolled his tongue as David screamed.

***

"Everyone wake up now!" Ash screamed. He shook Jake and Jarvis from their sleep before running to Carrie and David's bedroom. He opened the door to see Carrie already up and around. She hopped out of the bed and lunged for Ash.

"Ash," Carrie yelled. "He's got David!"

"Who?" Ash asked. "Freddy?"

Carrie was stunned. "How did you...?"

"What's going on, Ash?" Jake interrupted. "What the hell's wrong with him? Why isn't he waking up?" Ash saw David on the bed; he was twitching and spasming uncontrollably, threatening to fall off the bed.

"Yo!" Jarvis screamed from another room. "Something's wrong with Raoul!" Ash and Carrie rushed into the other room, and saw Raoul twitching as well, just as violently as David! Jarvis bent down and picked up Raoul's baggie and pipe! "Man, motherfucker done smoked himself to a coma!"

"Oh dear God, no!" Ash screamed as Raoul continued to twitch.

***

The first dodgeball whizzed through the air and embedded into the wall next to David's head! A second, non-spiked ball flew harmlessly through the air and smacked David in the face, bouncing off and landing on the floor. Another ball was headed for his stomach; David reflexively caught the ball, but instantly dropped it as he collapsed to the ground in pain! This ball was spiked, and some had pierced his palm! A fourth ball grazed David's arm, but cut him deep enough to cause him to bleed.

"No! Fuck!" The cuts were pretty severe now, really hurting. He was losing a lot of blood. "Get me out of here!"

***

"David, wake up!" Carrie shouted. A large cut appeared on David's wrist.

"Shit, he's gonna bleed to death if we don't wake him up!" Jarvis shouted.