Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

Freddy vs. Jason: Round 3

Freddy's head rolled back with the force of the blow; he was sure that it was nearly knocked clean off! Once he recovered, Freddy eyed Jason angrily! "I suppose I should have expected this," Freddy said, agitated. "Why can't you just die like a good retard?"

Jason stood motionless.

"All right, let's have some fun, then!" Freddy said, lowering his hands to his sides, where they suddenly erupted into flames! "I'm surprised you feel safe coming out here on the lake to get me. You do know what awaits you just below the ice, right Jason?"

Jason looked down and around at the ice below him, the faint cracking of the ice filling the air! Suddenly, a fountain of water erupted from a hole that had suddenly appeared in the ice, spraying Jason all over!

"That's right: it's time for you to relearn those pesky swimming lessons you failed back at camp! Better get your floaties..." Freddy raised his gloved hand. "...cause I'm gonna pump you so full of water, your gonna pop like an over expanded balloon!"

Freddy raised both arms over his head. Ice broke off and flew upwards, causing a geyser of water to erupt from the large hole in the ice!

"Ah-hahahahahaha!"

SHUNK!

Jason had raised his machete and brought it down into Freddy's head, splitting it from the top of his cranium right down to his neck.

Instantly, the water disappeared! The message Jason had sent was as clear as the lake:

I'm not scared of a little water!

Jason removed the machete from Freddy's head! As the two halves of his head went separate ways, dozens of small, humanoid clots of blood "escaped" from his skull with cries joy at being free! Freddy raised his hands to his head and smashed both halves back together, the wound instantly repairing itself!

"Can't you lost souls keep it down? I've got a splitting headache!"

Carrie rushed back to shore and crouched behind Bree's Mustang! Once she felt she was safely hidden behind the vehicle, she began to slowly regain her breath.

What am I going to do now? she asked herself. There's no way I'm getting out of this alive! Not by myself...

"Carrie!"

Carrie nearly jumped out of her skin, her heart almost exploding in her chest, when she heard David's voice calling her name from the opposite end of the vehicle! She laid eyes on David and was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion! She leaped forward and buried herself in his arms! "David! I thought you were dead!"

"Honestly? I thought I was, too!" David replied, throwing his arms around Carrie tightly! "What happened while I was gone?"

"A lot," Carrie answered. "Jake's dead, and Jarvis is, too!"

"Where's Ash?"

Carrie looked back at the barrier. "He's in there, I think! I never saw him come out!"

David looked up and, seeing the barrier for the first time, stared at it in confusion. "What is that?"

"Freddy's doing! He's using the book to reshape reality, turn everything into a living nightmare!"

"Where is the book?"

Carrie looked out onto the ice where Freddy and Jason were violently duking it out! "It's out on the lake?"

"Are you sure?" David asked. Carrie nodded, but then added, "But it won't do any good! The banishment passage is missing, and-"

David suddenly held up a crumbling piece of paper in his hand, and Carrie smiled in relief!

"Please tell me that's the missing page?"

"You're goddamned right it is!" David said as he grabbed Carrie's hand! "Follow me!" he said as he led Carrie back towards the lake! "I have a very stupid plan!"

Jason raised his machete for another blow but was stopped by Freddy!

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Voorhees! Thanks to the Necronomicon, I'm beyond being killed by your little toys. And since you don't want to be a good little camper and die..."

Krueger raised his hand and flicked his finger in Jason's direction. A huge gust of wind picked Jason up and carried him backwards off the lake and towards the house, smashing through the wall!

"...I've got another plan for you."

Krueger approached the large hole with the book in his hand.

"There's a passage in here that will send you to a place where not even crows can feast on you. You can have all fun you can handle hacking and slashing these dumb motherfuckers. They're called 'Deadites' and there is an endless supply of them...

"Oh, the suffering that shall come," Freddy said raising the book to his eye level.

"And after you're gone for good, I'll reshape the world in my 'divine' image!"

Freddy flipped through the pages...

And kept flipping! And kept flipping!

"Well, where the hell is it? I could have sworn it was right-"

HOOONNNK!

"Huh?"

A pair of bright headlights suddenly fell over Freddy, causing him to stop mid-sentence! In an instant, Krueger lay sprawled on the hood of Ash's Oldsmobile, the book flung from his hands! Krueger looked up and saw Ash grinning widely in the driver's seat. He was laying on the car's horn, which was distorted and warped from all the abuse the car had sustained and was now making a sound akin to a pissed-off animal!

"You again?! Don't you know when to stay down?"

"Sorry, Krueger! I only go down on one thing. And it sure as hell ain't the wrinkled-ass likes of you!" With that, Ash slammed the brakes, sending Krueger off the hood of the car and into a tree trunk! When Krueger's head slammed against the tree, he smacked against a low-hanging branch, which pierced through the back of his head and emerged from his mouth! Some of Krueger's teeth went flying out of his head while some pierced his lips and tongue or got stuck to the tree limb that was phallically jutting from his mouth!

"Oh, you think that hurts?" Ash remarked as he got out of his car and walked over to Krueger. "I got some news for you, Dead Astaire: the shit you cause in nightmares is nothing compared to the shit I've been through in the last twenty-five years." Ash continued forward, snow crunching under his feet.

"I've watched as my friends and family were turned to monsters! I've been forced to slaughter people close to me, been through one horror after another, nonstop for a quarter of a century, none of which you can come close to replicating!"

Freddy tried in vain to remove the branch, thrashing about on the cold and frozen ground as Ash marched closer, hatred filling his eyes; a hatred that was about to be unleashed on the Dream-walking demon.

"None of the nightmares you inflict on horny, pimple-faced teens..." Ash continued, "...with too much dream time can hold a candle to my life. I've had to dismember my loved ones while they screamed and begged me to stop! And all of that was so I can stop that book from annihilating the universe! You think that the pain you suffered when whatever it was turned you became the monster you are now was the worst thing you've felt?"

Ash then bent down and grabbed Freddy's collar. He whispered, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

With that, Ash got up and kicked Freddy's face so hard, the branch snapped and sent him flying onto the ice. Krueger stopped and stood up, pulling the branch from his head!

"You're really starting to piss me off, Williams." Krueger raised his glove and charged at Ash!