Saturday morning.
After a few days of thinking about my decision of going to Liverpool for Perrie's birthday, I finally made up my mind and made it clear to myself that I was ready to go. I was still working on ways to avoid seeing Trent anytime soon, but unfortunately, I came up with nothing on that case, so the only option I had was to mentally prepare myself for the encounter as I knew that he would definitely attend the party, and the last thing I wanted was to display my weak self infront of everyone by running away, I've already done enough of that.
My flight was scheduled to leave in the next 3 hours so I decided to have a quick conversation with Helene on how to deal with things if I happen to see Trent at the party. I knew that I was starting to over think the whole situation, but I had to do everything I possibly could to deal with things in the best way possible to me. It was a fact that I definitely didn't move on from Trent, but I didn't want him or anyone else to find that out, so I had make sure that I looked perfectly okay and happy infront of everyone.
"hi helene!" I said excitedly as I approached helene in the living room.
"hey sel!" she replied with a soft smile as we shared a warm hug "how are you doing?" she asked as we took a seat.
"not too good to be honest! I'm still not sure how to feel if I see him again" I replied, with all honesty.
"I understand what you're feeling and it's totally normal to feel that way, but there's no reason to be so insecure, just as long as you know that you did nothing wrong. The only thing you should be focused on is enjoying your time there and being happy, he shouldn't be one of the things that would distract or stop you from celebrating your bestfriend. If he chose to leave you like that then you should let him know that you've never been happier with your life" Helene said, making me smile a little bit as her words got into my head.
"you're right! He should know that" I said while nodding my head slowly.
"that's the spirit! Just remember to be as strong as you are at this moment, don't let anything shake the confidence you have" she said and gave my shoulder a little squeeze.
"thank you so much Helene, I feel so much better now" I smiled at her as she started getting ready to leave.
"you're welcome! Whenever you need me, just give me a call" she offered, I nodded my head and smiled widely at her before she found her way out of the house while I headed back upstairs to finish packing up my stuff.
After having that conversation with Helene, I was confident enough to say that I was ready for that encounter, her words seemed to make everything easier for me. although I might be trying to hate him for now, I knew that I wanted to get a glimpse of him. I wanted to see how he changed through the time, I wanted to know if he was happier without me and almost everything related. But at this point, let's just forget that I said anything like that and focus on surprising pez.
"ma'am, your ride is here!" said Samantha, making me jump out of my thoughts as she appeared in my bedroom.
"really? That was fast!" I said, making Sam chuckle a little bit "I'll be down in a minute, take this to the car in the meantime please" I said, pointing towards my medium sized suitcase, Sam nodded and quickly took the suitcase with her before heading out of the room.
I quickly threw on a simple, comfy outfit, consisting of a plain white T-shirt, grey sweatpants and a matching grey hoodie. I did my usual everyday makeup routine and combed my hair before picking up my handbag, phone and other necessities and hurrying out of the bedroom In hopes of getting to the airport on time.
-
It's been about an hour since I got to the airport and thankfully, I didn't get noticed by anyone so I had the maximum amount of peace and quiet I needed, plus some free time to kill. The last thing I wanted was to get noticed by the paps and get all over the news in less than a minute. That would only ruin the entire confidence and strength I managed to gather, literally taking me back to square one.
