Achieving Serenity

Autotune

Make your bed

Lori was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She woke up about an hour ago but was still resting sleeplessly with her eyes open, staring up at the dusty ceiling fan as it slowly rotated. What was the point in getting out of bed? She had nothing to do today- nowhere to go, nobody to see. All that awaited beyond the bedroom door was more misery- only instead she would be fully awake and active. Why can't I just be tired all the time, so I don't have to experience the awful pain of living?

Coffee and a cigarette. That sounds nice, which was the thought that finally motivated the woman to vacate her queen-sized mattress. She stepped through the obstacle course of laundry and made her way to the kitchen, trying to ignore the piles of untouched clutter in every corner of the apartment which she had plans of organizing tomorrow. Upon entry, she inevitably saw the dreaded kitchen trash, filled well beyond its capacity and took notice of how it was beginning to resemble a festively-timed Christmas tree of garbage. I'll take the trash out tomorrow, she thought as she began working the coffee essentials.

As she poured her first cup of the day, she watched the swirl and steam of the liquid, then glanced down at a previous coffee stain on her comfy XXXL T-shirt she enjoyed sleeping in. Rolling her eyes, she thought about how she's probably about to add to the stains with this new cup. She opened her fridge to retrieve creamer when she looked down and saw a disgusting black blob underneath the bottom, Fresh Crisp drawer of the fridge and squinted at it to make out its identity. She grabbed a paper towel, squatted down ready to clean up a dead insect when she discovered it was fortunately only a piece of leftover Thanksgiving chocolate pie. It was so caked on to the inner fridge's foundation that it seemed it was going to take more than a paper towel to scour that mess. I'll do some deep cleaning tomorrow, she thought as she grabbed her French Vanilla creamer from the top shelf of the fridge.

Her patio was a relaxing spot to have her morning cigarette, but she was disappointed to see that the sky was teeming with clouds, no sunlight in sight. It always felt refreshing to get a nice gleam of Arizona sunshine in the early afternoon, but that clearly wasn't going to be an option today. Feeling the uncomfortable breeze, she popped back inside her bedroom and into her hamper, putting on a sweatshirt after fixing its inside-out sleeves before returning to her morning ritual back on the patio.

The cigarette was tasting delicious and the buzz was just what the doctor ordered. She took a sip of her hot coffee then cursed, rolling her eyes when sure enough a hefty drop poured right onto her white T-shirt. It was at this moment she heard the baby from next door crying and took a moment to judge the parents for how stupid they are. The whole world was full of stupid people, especially Paul. I hope Paul dies today, and burns in Hell for all the shit he put me through. I'm giving up on men; they're all just manipulative scumbags.

Lori dropped her cigarette into her homemade foil ashtray and walked back inside, slouching into her recliner and reaching for the remote. She turned on the television to see the channel that played the late-night sitcoms she liked. During the daytime this station played nothing but junk, so 1 and 2 were the buttons she pressed to bring 12 news to her ambiance. She curiously awaited what sort of evil the world had mustered up today, ready to take on her lifelong passion- judging others. Of course, a commercial was on and she let out a sarcastic chuckle at the sight of two women gazing lovingly into one others' eyes. A jewelry store ad with lesbians in it? Great, what are we going to do next? Cereal ads with trannies in it? I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

She thought again about Paul and what a man-child he was. They were supposed to spend time together weeks ago and he never responded to her in any way, shape or fashion. It wasn't until yesterday that he had finally texted back, letting her know that they had nothing in common and there was no future between them. What a ridiculous liar. He's too afraid to be real with me so he can just go die. All men are only motivated by themselves and I can't take it anymore. Should I go over to his house? Try to frame him for a crime? He shouldn't get to live after all the bullshit he's put me through.

I want meth. If I'm going to awake right now, I want to be high; end of story. She made the phone call to her dealer and was delighted to hear that there was no holdup and she was free to drive right on over with her twenty dollar bill. She quickly changed her clothes and actually did began to feel a new hope for the day, completely contrasting from her morning slump in bed. She sauntered into the parking lot and opened the door to her dented sedan, wafting in a fresh aroma of old cigarette butts. Her entire car was littered with ashes, receipts, wrappers, cigarette boxes, water bottles, etc. But that didn't matter right now, she was planning on cleaning her car tomorrow; for now all that was important was scoring meth.

She turned up the radio in her car as she glided down the boulevard but nothing good was on. All she heard were black people trying to sound beautiful and cool at the same time, but she'd rather hear one thousand flushing toilets than what it was that the new age of kids considered music. The mute button on the dash was swiftly punched by Lori's index finger, leaving her to continue the rest of the trek in a pensive rage. Nearing an intersection, she noticed a familiar truck coming in quite fast and was wondering if he was planning on stopping anytime soon, or instead T-boning her. How does this stupid person not see he has a red light? She continued on through the intersection when she gasped, noticing that it was Paul's truck! Too dazed to even swerve, the devious grin on Paul's face and the loud bang of the crash were the last things Lori remembered before waking up.

The mess in her bedroom needed to be addressed right now. She had been reading a book she picked up called "Make Your Bed" and had an eye-opening moment when she realized that she had been spending all of her energy judging and criticizing the world, paying no attention to her own wellbeing. Who was she to judge others when she couldn't even keep her own dishes in check? She spent the rest of the day completely cleaning her entire house, with the mindset of "I'm not allowed to talk shit about the world unless my own house is clean" and this worked for her. She had a whole new mood and outlook toward life which she never saw possible when she was wallowing around in her misery, blaming others.