Achieving Serenity

Yin Yang

High ego, low self-esteem

My name is Kos and I am the god of a universe I created.

My universe is very similar to your Earth, but I wanted to do something interesting with mine.

Each soul can be given anything and everything they imagine, which I call their "prize", but there is a catch.

In order to even be qualified to receive your prize, somebody in the universe MUST believe in you.

If there is no one to believe in you, then the soul is not able to receive their prize.

In my universe, every possible action a soul can take creates a new dimension. I am able to observe alternate dimensions to see how different actions would've impacted a souls' life.

I want to share the story of Jordan, which I believe people on your Earth may relate to.

Jordan was the fourth child to his parents and growing up, it was clear to everyone in his family that he was exceptionally bright.

He would be able to pick up any new thing and learn it very quickly. He would study what it is that his siblings enjoyed, such as music or a video game, and would master them in an effort to become closer to his brothers and sisters.

Trey was Jordan's older brother, born just 1 year before him. They were inseparable best friends until about age 5, when Trey began bullying Jordan when he realized that his younger brother was "lame" and not cool like his friends. Jordan became determined to gain his respect, no matter what it took.

Jordan excelled in school, and it was then clear to teachers and peers that he was highly intelligent. Jordan began to realize that when he wanted to win at something, he could. He found himself showing mercy toward others in spelling bees, feeling bad that none of his classmates had a chance to beat him.

Whenever there was a competition, Jordan would think to himself, "Do I feel like winning today?" and sometimes he would, and sometimes he wouldn't.

Still, his need to gain Trey's respect was ongoing and seeming not to progress.

By age 18, Jordan was at a standstill trying to figure out which path in life he should take. He knew he had what it took to achieve anything, and felt as if the world was his oyster.

He noticed that Trey and his friends would often play poker in their free time. It was around this time that, after seeing Trey's interest and how much money was to be made, decided that Texas Hold-em was definitely the next thing he needed to master.

The problem was that Jordan was a sociopath with no self-control. No matter how much he studied the odds and behaviors of his adversaries, his impulsiveness and intense need to win would result in him going broke often. He needed to leave the table knowing he got the better of the other people, and so he would bet erratically trying to chase losses.

Gambling took over Jordan's life. Friends and females were not even in his scope as all he cared about was obtaining resources to gamble. It soon became his only reason to live. If he couldn't gamble, he wanted to die.

By age 33, Jordan took his own life. He was given so many great opportunities for happiness and success, but all he truly wanted was to be admired. This was not obtainable with his self-destructive actions, and it was apparent that NO SOUL in the universe believed in him.

I wanted to pinpoint where everything went wrong in Jordan's life, so I went back to observe the alternate dimensions.

It began at age 5 when Jordan learned a video game that Trey liked. It was this day that Jordan began his never-ending journey to impress his psychopathic brother, Trey.

From age 5-17, even though Jordan was excelling, he felt like a failure inside. Trey never wanted to hang out with him, and Jordan gradually began feeling as if he was worthless.

When he decided to pick up poker, he found a drug that numbed his low self-esteem. The last bit of hope that he and his family had for him began slowly dying.

Nobody believed in Jordan, because Jordan didn't believe in Jordan.

In the alternate dimension, Jordan decides that learning piano is what's important to him because it makes himself happy. It's in this dimension that he treats himself with the utmost respect, and believes in himself.

He becomes a member of a prestigious orchestra, gets married and feels as if he is part of something bigger than himself. He becomes a motivational speaker in an attempt to connect with those currently struggling.

It was this life that he loved himself and felt as if he was meaningful. He sought not to impress others, but to be understood and bring joy to others, for this is what gave him genuine joy. He believed in himself and therefore was able to obtain his prize.

I don't know the rules of your universe, but I do know it's important to love yourself and not let others dictate your emotional world.