We Are Infinite

n i n e

m i a  /  n i n e

"So I've got myself into another mess," I sigh, popping a grape into my mouth.

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow, "Another one? Ask me why I'm not surprised!"

I roll my eyes at her, "Shut up. Do you want to hear it or not?"

"You know I do. Now spill." Caitlyn sniffs, resting her face on her upturned palm.

"So, I've been speaking to Kade. Not Kade Lawson. You remember the other Kade I told you about, right?"

"Of course I do. And I thought messaging him was just a mistake? What do you mean, you've been speaking to him?"

I sigh, taking a deep breath. "It somehow led to a conversation. So we've been talking, and . . . Okay, look. So he asked me something last night that was a bit of a deep question, and it led to a way deeper conversation. I feel like . . ."

"Like?" Caitlyn watches my expression, and I can almost see the wheels in her brain turning, round and round, like those rides you get at the carnival.

"He seems . . . different, I guess. While we were speaking, I realized that I opened up to him a lot. Like, a lot more than I usually would with someone I barely know, you know what I'm like."

Caitlyn's hazel brown eyes flick to the floor, and then raise up to look into mine. "I understand what you're saying, I really do. But that's the thing, you don't know him." She lifts her hands, as if to prove a point, "He could be a murderer, for all you know! Or a fifty year old man! I don't know which is worse, but this Kade dude could be anyone!"

I roll my eyes at Caitlyn, but there's a part of me that knows she could be right. I don't know Kade Ryder. Okay, wrongly said, I do know Kade Ryder, because I've seen the 2 a.m. version of him and to me, that's the most important version of someone, but I don't know basic things about him.

I mentally note this down, knowing I should ask Kade about these things. It's usually the first thing people do, but I'd been stupid and went along with talking about deep shit with him. Already getting the slightest bit attached.

I assure Caitlyn that I'll be careful, that I'll make sure Kade Ryder is a real person before talking to him further. All the while, I'm thinking about the amount of vulnerability we'd attained last night, and how comfortable it was, stepping into deep waters with someone who was all broken edges and unmasked emotions. None of all that masculinity, boys-don't-cry ego thing that most boys have going these days.

Nothing like what Kade Lawson is like.

. . .

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