We Are Infinite

t w e n t y - n i n e

k a d e  /  t w e n t y - n i n e

I ruin everything I touch. I should've never held her hand, pulled her close, placed my hands on her waist.

God, when will I learn?

The rain pours, and the distant rumble of thunder reminds me that a storm is coming, and it's getting late. Mia is ahead of me, and I make sure that she's careful as she steps down the roof, onto the brick wall, and then to the ground. It takes me a second, and a part of me can't stand myself when I see Mia standing there, arms wrapped tight around her chest, shivering in the cold breeze.

I open the passenger door for her, and then close it, heading to the drivers seat. Once I'm in the car, I see that she's still shivering, and I take off my jacket and wrap it around her shoulders without asking.

Mia tries telling me to keep it, but I refuse.

I drive through the almost-empty streets, and the silence in the car is tense, so thick you can barely breathe. Mia looks out the window, at the scenery rushing past, resting her head against the window.

When I reach her house, I switch off the Mustang's engine, knowing that I have to apologize to Mia. She sighs, breaking the silence between us, and I take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have . . . "

"Yeah. I'm sorry too, Kade. For . . . whatever. It's just . . . "

A bitter taste in my mouth, I roll my eyes, "Lawson. I get it. You're with him."

The look that crosses her face takes me by surprise, but after a second, her expression is neutral again. She's closing up, and I hate it. "It's not what you think, but it kind of is."

My hands are too tight against the steering wheel, and I let go with a sigh. The streets here are still wet, although it isn't raining, the storm long left behind in Greenwood.

"Look. I just think . . . maybe we should keep our distance," she adds.

I close my eyes, leaning my head back against my seat. Knew this was going to come. But like I said, she's Lawson's girl, which means hands off.

God knows I literally wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her if she's going to be around me. So I suppose it's better off if we don't see each other, right?

I tell her this, and she sighs. The car is silent now, both of us not knowing what to say. I sigh back, and as Mia opens the car door, wrapping my jacket around her shoulders tighter, she sighs again. It occurs to me that after all the words exchanged between us, we've resorted to communicating only through sighs.

I can't let her walk to her house alone from the street, though, so I step out of the Mustang too. Mia looks at me with alarm, and then lets out an embarrassed laugh, looking down at herself, "Oh, your jacket. I'm sorry, here-"

She fumbles with the zip of the jacket, and I gaze at her, feeling a part of me break. She's so beautiful. Her cheeks the slightest bit flushed, eyes wild, and when she hands me my jacket, I take a careful step forward. I take the jacket from her, only to gently place it around her shoulders again, and Mia blushes a deep red.

I watch as she walks up the driveway, fumbling in her jeans pocket for her key. Before she finds it, though, her Dad opens the house door, and pulls Mia in for a hug. I don't feel the sting of pain that I usually do; when I see other kids with their fathers who aren't like mine. Her dad looks up above Mia's head, catches my gaze, and smiles, a real, genuine smile.

And with a nod of his head, he leads Mia into the house, closing the door behind him. And I'm left there, walking back to my Mustang, wondering if I looked back, if Mia's door was still open, would our eyes meet?

Would she still be looking at me?

. . .

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/ god, i need to stop putting them through this trauma. my heart breaks for my innocent lil characters who did me absolutely no harm.