We Are Infinite

t h i r t y - n i n e

k a d e  /  t h i r t y - n i n e

Life at home is so different, but in a good way. Dad hasn't come back, yet, and Mom assumes he's gone over to stay with a friend for a while. Until . . . this remains unknown. I don't know when, if, he will walk in that door again.

And I can tell that Mom doesn't either.

Finn is doing okay, and when I told him that Dad had gone on a work trip, Mom went along with the story. It sucks that I'd had to lie, but Finn didn't seem to remember much from the night before, and I don't want him to see Dad as the same person that I see him as. Not as bad, anyway.

It's Monday morning, and I'm at the gym again. Aiden decided to come along with me, but it's only when I'm done boxing and am in the bathroom, that he begins talking. "Did you hear of the scout who was at the game against Greytown?"

I nod, once, but Aiden isn't watching me, continuing, "None of the guys are sure who he was here for, but I think both of us have a good chance, right?"

I sigh. I don't want the scholarship, but Aiden does. Hell, all of the guys on the team want it. Aiden deserves it, though, and I tell him. "Look, Harrington. It's yours. You deserve it more."

Aiden steps back, eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, what the hell? Dude. Why?"

"Soccer . . . it's not my calling. I'm done with it. I'm quitting the team today as well." I say this without looking at him, but he punches me on the shoulder, swear words falling off his tongue.

"What the actual- Ryder, what are you on?"

When I just sigh and turn to face him, his mouth drops open. "No! You can't quit. You played like a freaking beast!"

Well. If he's reacted like this, what's Coach Hudson's reaction going to be like? I shake Aiden's questions off, and he must get the fact that my mind is set, but all the way to our respective cars, he tries convincing me to change my mind.

My decision is final, though. For the first goddamned time in my eighteen years of existence, I've made my own decision, and it's not changing.

Finally, I try a different tactic to get Aiden off my back. I ask him when's Greytown's prom.

"Forget all that, when's the prom for Greytown?"

Aiden stops in his tracks. "This Friday night. What's new with your girl slash Lawson's girl?"

"What's new?" I turn to him, a smirk on my face. "More than what's up in your love life, that's for sure!"

Aiden smirks right back at me, "Actually, you have no idea. I've asked Larissa on a date, and she's agreed, so in your freaking face."

I chuckle, "Oh, her. She's just taking you because she couldn't get me."

Aiden sniffs, punching my arm lightly. "Seriously, dude. What's up with Mia?"

"Not sure. Don't look like she feels the same about Lawson, but then she did agree to go with him to prom. I don't know." I sigh, and Aiden pats my hair patronizingly.

"We'll see what happens. If you like her that much, though, don't let her go."

I won't. I can't.

. . .

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important lesson here kiddos. don't let go of something so real, once you lose it . . . trust me, it ain't coming back.